What is it like for me on Sundays? Honestly this is not a question I get asked, however it was one I always wanted to ask other Pastors' spouses. What does a spouse get out of the sermon on Sunday? Of course the Pastor is preaching on Sunday which is basically teaching. Other parishioners are learning and listening to their spiritual leader. What is it like for me when my husband is the spiritual leader? Keep in mind this is very new territory for me, so other seasoned spouses might feel differently.
Sundays are very exciting for me. One Sunday, as I was listening to my husband preach I couldn't help but think how great this minister was, looking at him and realizing I married to this guy. It is so interesting to see someone you have known half your life in different role than at home. It is interesting seeing a spouse in other roles. Generally speaking I know very little about the sermon come Sunday. John doesn't ask to rehearse on me and I don't offer. I think it is exciting to hear his sermon for the first time on Sunday just like everyone else.
Does John teach me? Boy howdy does he teach me. While I often like to say I am my own woman and we are equal partners in the relationship, it isn't true when it when comes to theology. I am light years behind John in my theological development. Do I have a basic understanding? Yes. Am I able to form opinions? Yes. But really what I know could fit in a thimble. John teaches me each and every day (for the record he doesn't just teach me about the Bible, there are some pretty awesome other life things he teaches). He says I challenge him and he likes that, but I think he is being encouraging.
I can't tell you the number of people in the past year who have said, "You sure are lucky to be married to him." This always makes me chuckle. Yes, I am so very lucky to be married to John and will never deserve to be married to such an amazing husband, but I am not sure people realize how that sounds when they say it. There is an implication whether it is meant or not when someone says, "You are so lucky to be married to him." When someone says it, I typically nod and smile. Sometimes when I am feeling sassy I say, "Yep, and he is super lucky to be married to me." I have received some interesting facial expressions with that line.
There is one thing I have not been wild about hearing and it has happened a number of times. John will sometimes introduce me to folks in the church that I have not had the opportunity to meet individually, often because they go to a different service and we do not cross paths at other church functions. John sweetly introduces me and I am met with the, "Oh we just know you as John's wife." Not going to lie, that phrase bothers me. [Husband edit: Me too. I don't try to hide my displeasure either. I have always considered myself a husband first and a pastor second.] When someone says that, it is like they are saying I am not important enough to be worth having my name remembered. I love and support John, and really am his number one fan, but what others need to remember is I have a name. I am an individual with a full time career that I love too. (I too wear more that one "pair of shoes".) I do my best to remember everyone's name. It isn't very kind to assume my only role is to stand behind John and nod at everything he says. We are a team and I am so lucky to be a member of that team, but please assume I have other things to offer as well.
I have a feeling being married to John will be quite the adventure, for many reasons. Not just his career in ministry, but also because he is a fun man with an enthusiasm for life and people, which I admire greatly.
So in answer to the big question What is it like for me on Sundays? An overall wonderful experience that I look forward to having Sunday after Sunday for years to come.
Does John teach me? Boy howdy does he teach me. While I often like to say I am my own woman and we are equal partners in the relationship, it isn't true when it when comes to theology. I am light years behind John in my theological development. Do I have a basic understanding? Yes. Am I able to form opinions? Yes. But really what I know could fit in a thimble. John teaches me each and every day (for the record he doesn't just teach me about the Bible, there are some pretty awesome other life things he teaches). He says I challenge him and he likes that, but I think he is being encouraging.
I can't tell you the number of people in the past year who have said, "You sure are lucky to be married to him." This always makes me chuckle. Yes, I am so very lucky to be married to John and will never deserve to be married to such an amazing husband, but I am not sure people realize how that sounds when they say it. There is an implication whether it is meant or not when someone says, "You are so lucky to be married to him." When someone says it, I typically nod and smile. Sometimes when I am feeling sassy I say, "Yep, and he is super lucky to be married to me." I have received some interesting facial expressions with that line.
There is one thing I have not been wild about hearing and it has happened a number of times. John will sometimes introduce me to folks in the church that I have not had the opportunity to meet individually, often because they go to a different service and we do not cross paths at other church functions. John sweetly introduces me and I am met with the, "Oh we just know you as John's wife." Not going to lie, that phrase bothers me. [Husband edit: Me too. I don't try to hide my displeasure either. I have always considered myself a husband first and a pastor second.] When someone says that, it is like they are saying I am not important enough to be worth having my name remembered. I love and support John, and really am his number one fan, but what others need to remember is I have a name. I am an individual with a full time career that I love too. (I too wear more that one "pair of shoes".) I do my best to remember everyone's name. It isn't very kind to assume my only role is to stand behind John and nod at everything he says. We are a team and I am so lucky to be a member of that team, but please assume I have other things to offer as well.
I have a feeling being married to John will be quite the adventure, for many reasons. Not just his career in ministry, but also because he is a fun man with an enthusiasm for life and people, which I admire greatly.
So in answer to the big question What is it like for me on Sundays? An overall wonderful experience that I look forward to having Sunday after Sunday for years to come.
Honestly, Ashley, you should not feel that way. When people don't know a person's spouse, they always think of them as "John's wife". That in no way diminishes your worth -- it is just a way of making a connection. If John were to go to your place of work, folks there would think of him as Ashley's husband. Once people KNOW you, they will think of you as Ashley.
ReplyDelete