Wednesday, April 23, 2014

CPR

Last Saturday John, Katie, and I went to CPR training. Now I know many people are CPR trained and it is only a couple of hours of how to save someone's life when in a pickle, but I was worried. 

You see, I have been CPR trained before. I distinctly remember breathing into the dummy's mouth and thinking to myself, "There is no way this air is going into that thing's mouth." The dummy somehow inflates or moves to let the trainee know that air is going to the lungs. This did not happen with my dummy. I did the chest pump thing too which one might think is easier but is, in fact, not. I remember receiving my card and thinking to myself, "I sure hope I never need to do CPR. I am not sure there would be a lot of life saving."

Now add my previous CPR training, which left me feeling less than confident, with this CPR training specifically with intention of teaching me how to save my future foster kids if need be, and you have yourself a recipe for paralyzing fear. John has never been trained before, however my sister has been through this lots and could probably teach the class. (At one point she corrected me and the teacher.) 

While maybe not feeling like I am ready to save the world and volunteer for every first aid situation that may arise, I can say I feel better than I did before. It is most likely due to the amazing trainer (and my confident sister). Our CPR trainer was also a foster parent. I thought our agency did that on purpose, but other foster parents said this was the first time they had been taught by a foster parent. She is currently taking care of more medically fragile kiddos. She was patient, kind, honest, and most importantly, realistic. She made the whole class feel as though trying to help someone in a situation requiring CPR is better than doing nothing at all. She also reminded us that common sense during a first aid situation will help too. She shared stories about her experiences and the other experienced parents jumped in with other ideas and experiences. It was great to be taught by someone who knows foster care. 

CPR and first aid situations are mostly similar for biological children and foster children, however, there are a couple of fairly significant differences. For example: it is my understanding that everything needs to be documented. Everything. How many biological parents keep a journal of every bruise, scrap, and bump their kids have? We have to do that. We also have to keep every medication in the house under double lock. It is interesting (and probably scary), going through my house and seeing that I leave meds everywhere. I have my allergy pills here, Advil there, nose spray over there, heart burn meds on top of that, etc. I suppose in the future it might be nice to have everything in one place as opposed to my current situation which involves mad scrambles all over the house.

One of the things I am looking forward to most is meeting other foster parents. We met some during the weekend and there is something comforting about knowing there are other people who totally get the situation. They were able to answer questions about social workers, agencies, policies, etc. John and I know one couple we used to go to school with. In fact, they are quite like us, which has been more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined. The husband too is in seminary and the wife has full time job/career. They are our age and chose to jump into this first. They have been our biggest support and help. I am not sure they realize how incredible they are. 

Life is crazy and thinking how John and I got this far is wild.  [Husband edit: What a difference a year makes!]  I guess it could only be divine intervention, as my grandma used to say. In case anyone is wondering, we officially began phase II three weeks ago. There are four phases. It is my understanding that phase II is mostly completed by the agency. Phase III will be more of the home study stuff and lots of interviewing. At our initial home visit our social worker said we were still on track to be licensed by June or July. And now we have one more thing checked off the list!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Strangers In Our Home

     Thursday night John informed me he had scheduled our first initial home visit with our social worker for Wednesday night. While I should probably lie, I won't. It made more nervous than I thought it would. Here I am thinking, "Wow, we are really going forward." You see, we have been at a bit of stand still since Spring Break when we turned in our application. We hadn't heard much from the agency and things just seemed to stop for a couple weeks. To most I am sure this is not a big deal, but John and I were so eager and convicted in our decision that it felt like we were put on hold. For perhaps the first time ever in our lives, John wanted to call and email all the time, and I said "let's just wait". [Husband edit: True story!]

     Our social worker called John and set-up a time just to see the house. It is my understanding this will not be a detailed "look in every nook and cranny" type visit, but more of a "let's just see what we have to work with" visit. John came home super excited. When he told me I kind of had a rush of anxiety hit me. Even though I am generally a somewhat private person, I didn't think it would really affect me to have someone come through my home. I thought I had mentally prepared myself enough for this that it wouldn't be something that made me nervous.  But this is a different type of visit. This a a visit in which someone will be judging my home. They aren't coming in to "visit" or be a guest, but to see if my home is sufficient for a children. While I really appreciate the importance of this it is still interesting to think that expectant parents get baby showers and I get inspection checks. It's not discouraging or upsetting; it's just something to think about. My nesting time won't be like everyone else's; which I knew when I signed up. I have always had an idea that my being an "expectant" parent would be very different. I am guessing the anxiety and nervousness is hopefully very similar to a new mother who knows she will have her first child in several months. 

     I imagine this whole process will be an interesting one. Having someone who doesn't know me, ask me every private detail, check my home, interview my loved ones, friends, co-workers, and ask them if I am ready to be a parent will be different. Other individuals who decide to have children make the decision with their significant others. Interviews, references, home checks aren't conducted. While my heart is preparing just like any other soon-to-be-parent, the other "preparations" are completely different. It is really another way we prepare our hearts for the precious souls who will be in our home.