As many of you know, John and I have been saying month after month, week after week, "We should have the license soon". Well, that day may never come (I am being slightly dramatic since I am mad, of course).
Months ago I tried to get my fingerprinting completed, but someone misspelled my name when they put it in the system; not John's last name, just mine, which as you might recall is the same as his. Social worker called 3+ weeks ago and says we are all done. Time to sign official licensing paperwork and be on our way. Not long after that email came the, "Uh oh, I forgot you still need get fingerprinted" email. If you have ever been fingerprinted then you know it is not quick. You make an appointment weeks out to secure a 10 min time slot. I mentioned all this in a previous post. Long story short, social worker came over with paperwork and said "Let's go ahead and have you sign, I mean I am sure you do not have anything crazy on your record. As soon as your fingerprints and background check come in we will send your paperwork for final review to the supervisor who will then send it to the VP of the agency who will sign your license. You should have it in no time."
A week later I was able to get fingerprinted. Then we waited and waited. I was told the week before last they had the results, but the director was going to be out of town Wednesday-Friday; so we should have something the next week for sure (which was this week). I sent an email yesterday.
At 3:45 today I received an email with a list of items we now need due to a new policy that went into effect September 1st.
This means if everything had been done, through no fault of our own when we were told it would be done we would have been licensed 6 weeks ago, and this new stack of paperwork they need now would not be an issue. Would you like to know what they need?
1. 60 Days worth of pay stubs (already turned in a month's worth but now they want more due to the new policy)
2. Last year's tax return (thankfully my amazing husband knew exactly where it was
3. Household expense report (we turned in a financial snapshot our director thinks will be good enough meaning it probably won't be, because let's face it that is how the system works)
4. Possibly 2 itemized banks statements (I am not doing this because that is taking it too far. Tax return should be more than good enough.)
5. Renter's Insurance policy: the declaration page (I turned in an invoice which shows coverage, policy dates, company, and payment, but somehow this is insufficient.)
Just in case you missed the first 2 times I said it, this is all newly required information, September 1st.......this year, as in 30 days ago.
Disappointed and demoralizing are putting it delicately when describing my [Husband edit: Our. Definitely OUR.] current feelings. John, again being the amazing person he is and whiz at filing, knows where most of these documents are, allowing us to turn them in tonight via email. However, who knows how slow everyone else will move on their end? I can't tell you how excited John and I were this week when we thought there was a chance we would have that license in our hot little hands. The crushing disappointment is an unfortunate reminder the system we are getting into is broken. What has had me in tears this evening is realizing how frustrating this has been and we don't even have kids in the home yet. John and I were reminded that big ugly hurdles are yet to come. We never thought it would be easy, but we did think getting the license would be slightly easier.
I cannot express how strongly John and I both feel the call of God on our lives to foster, but that doesn't mean it is easy by any stretch. Today was a rather harsh reminder of how difficult navigating the foster system is, and we haven't even really begun. To think about the kids whose lives, health, safety, happiness are dependent on "the system" is scary. Our future children will need love and prayers more than I think we ever expected. We will need love and prayers more than we expected...especially for patience and understanding for all those who work within in the system, I think everyone is doing their best. I hope.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Saturday, September 20, 2014
A Rose by Any Other Name (to be dramatic of course)
I have failed in writing frequent blog posts. Truthfully, nothing exciting has happened or been worth reporting on the foster care front or home in general.
-John started his crazy semester. He was told under no circumstances should a seminary student take Moral Theology and Systematics in the same semester. I mean the titles alone say taking the classes at the same time is a bad idea......but what did our fearless leader do? He decided to take both classes at the same time. I'm sure this is all in good fun, but really it is nutty. Did I mention he is also taking Hebrew? Yeah this may end up being worse than the time he waited until his very last semester of college to take Physics. As John would say, it is an adventure! Work is going well. The church is moving right along into its busy fall season. Pumpkin patch, financial campaigns, and of course, the preparing for Christmas [Husband edit: "Christmas is coming" are the words of my house for all time].
-My own job stuff is going smoothly as well. I am enjoying my new job, love my patients, and am learning a great deal. With the exception of some not fun car issues 2 weeks ago, things have gone well.
-We have a new dog named Pippa. She is very sweet and I think will make a good companion for kiddos, if not the cats.
-We were able to finally get the opportunity to spend some time with some of our best friends who are finally moving back to Texas.
-Kids' room is finished. I will hopefully get pictures taken and posted this week.
-Basically, we have finally started to fall into a rhythm and routine which has been absolutely amazing. I don't do well with chaos yet.
In terms of our current situation with foster care, we are waiting. Waiting and waiting... and waiting seems to be more like it. After an exhaustive amount of online trainings we finally finished. At the very beginning of April I had issues getting fingerprinting/background check completed because of a misspelling with my last name. It probably doesn't help that I didn't do any name change paperwork until a year after our marriage and only then did I change my name on about half of my documents. Now I only have my driver's license and credit cards to change over, but I finally got my professional license, insurance, SS, and some other random documents into my married name. I love my husband with all my heart, but if men want women to continue to change their names, someone needs to come up with a better system. It is not pleasant. Like the loving wife I am, I made John go with me last year to the SS office. I was not about to deal with that mess alone. [Husband edit: Spoiler alert- it was a very hot mess.] We walked into the office at about 11:00 AM (which was our first mistake) and proceeded to the electric kiosk. From there we had to choose one of the options as to why we needed to be seen. To be fair, I felt there might have been some slight ambiguity in which category we were supposed to sign up with. I made a selection and received a number, at which point time becomes strange. I get number B202 or something and quickly look at the progress screen- which is currently on B97. About 30 minutes pass and now we are on B110. Executive decision: this isn't working. I suggest John go and get a separate number from one of the other categories/lines. Maybe one of those is moving faster. John makes a choice and gets number E98 and they are currently serving E46 (I can't quite remember our exact numbers, but you get the idea.). I am overjoyed. Surely the new and wonderful E line will move faster. It does not. In fact it quickly becomes apparent that this race is almost neck and neck in terms of which number will be called first, so I guess the joke is on us. Or karma or something. It must be some social experiment the SS office does to see who tries to game the system. A painfully long 2 hours and 20 minutes later John's number comes up. We go to the super "friendly" SS clerk who briskly asks, "What are you here for?" I say, "Name change." She says, "Oh. You have the wrong number. That isn't E." An infinitely long moment passes. I must have given a death stare because she quickly informs me that she will let it slide...just this once. I think, "Good lady, 'cuz I ain't getting married or changing my name again. This name will be on my tombstone so no need to inform of what will or will not happen next time." [Husband edit: Baby, you SO gangsta!] After that experience I was good for a while on the name changing experience so I didn't do any other documents for about 6 months.
-This encounter does inform a later one:
So back to foster care. There was an issue in April. I waited and waited. Our agency tried to fix the issue with no luck. Finally, just last week, our agency informed us that I can go and get my fingerprinting requirement completed. I took the soonest appointment in a small town about 45 min away. I get there ready to get this over with (remember this has been an issue for months). A lovely individual calls my name and I walk up to the front. She says, "I need your paper and DL." She proceeds to look at both and here is the best part, "Oh ummm, ma'am you cannot get this completed today because the name on your SS card and name on your DL are different. Another infinite moment passes. I want nothing more than to scream and hit someone. Mostly myself. I say, "I have my birth certificate, marriage license, professional license, anything you want. Please trust I am me and I have to get this done today." I don't know if she was fearful of what I might do or if she saw the look of desperation on my face and was moved by pity, but she said she had a plan. "Okay well I guess I put your married name under and alias or something." I'll take it", I said. 10 minutes later, shockingly without the loss of life or dignity, I had been federally fingerprinted and put in the system.
Literally, and I mean literally, every single piece of paper is completed and ready for approval. We are just waiting on the official signature of the agency VP and we will be licensed and on the list. This has been a crazy roller coaster and lesson in patience. Probably something that will come in handy with kids.
-John started his crazy semester. He was told under no circumstances should a seminary student take Moral Theology and Systematics in the same semester. I mean the titles alone say taking the classes at the same time is a bad idea......but what did our fearless leader do? He decided to take both classes at the same time. I'm sure this is all in good fun, but really it is nutty. Did I mention he is also taking Hebrew? Yeah this may end up being worse than the time he waited until his very last semester of college to take Physics. As John would say, it is an adventure! Work is going well. The church is moving right along into its busy fall season. Pumpkin patch, financial campaigns, and of course, the preparing for Christmas [Husband edit: "Christmas is coming" are the words of my house for all time].
-My own job stuff is going smoothly as well. I am enjoying my new job, love my patients, and am learning a great deal. With the exception of some not fun car issues 2 weeks ago, things have gone well.
-We have a new dog named Pippa. She is very sweet and I think will make a good companion for kiddos, if not the cats.
-We were able to finally get the opportunity to spend some time with some of our best friends who are finally moving back to Texas.
-Kids' room is finished. I will hopefully get pictures taken and posted this week.
-Basically, we have finally started to fall into a rhythm and routine which has been absolutely amazing. I don't do well with chaos yet.
In terms of our current situation with foster care, we are waiting. Waiting and waiting... and waiting seems to be more like it. After an exhaustive amount of online trainings we finally finished. At the very beginning of April I had issues getting fingerprinting/background check completed because of a misspelling with my last name. It probably doesn't help that I didn't do any name change paperwork until a year after our marriage and only then did I change my name on about half of my documents. Now I only have my driver's license and credit cards to change over, but I finally got my professional license, insurance, SS, and some other random documents into my married name. I love my husband with all my heart, but if men want women to continue to change their names, someone needs to come up with a better system. It is not pleasant. Like the loving wife I am, I made John go with me last year to the SS office. I was not about to deal with that mess alone. [Husband edit: Spoiler alert- it was a very hot mess.] We walked into the office at about 11:00 AM (which was our first mistake) and proceeded to the electric kiosk. From there we had to choose one of the options as to why we needed to be seen. To be fair, I felt there might have been some slight ambiguity in which category we were supposed to sign up with. I made a selection and received a number, at which point time becomes strange. I get number B202 or something and quickly look at the progress screen- which is currently on B97. About 30 minutes pass and now we are on B110. Executive decision: this isn't working. I suggest John go and get a separate number from one of the other categories/lines. Maybe one of those is moving faster. John makes a choice and gets number E98 and they are currently serving E46 (I can't quite remember our exact numbers, but you get the idea.). I am overjoyed. Surely the new and wonderful E line will move faster. It does not. In fact it quickly becomes apparent that this race is almost neck and neck in terms of which number will be called first, so I guess the joke is on us. Or karma or something. It must be some social experiment the SS office does to see who tries to game the system. A painfully long 2 hours and 20 minutes later John's number comes up. We go to the super "friendly" SS clerk who briskly asks, "What are you here for?" I say, "Name change." She says, "Oh. You have the wrong number. That isn't E." An infinitely long moment passes. I must have given a death stare because she quickly informs me that she will let it slide...just this once. I think, "Good lady, 'cuz I ain't getting married or changing my name again. This name will be on my tombstone so no need to inform of what will or will not happen next time." [Husband edit: Baby, you SO gangsta!] After that experience I was good for a while on the name changing experience so I didn't do any other documents for about 6 months.
-This encounter does inform a later one:
So back to foster care. There was an issue in April. I waited and waited. Our agency tried to fix the issue with no luck. Finally, just last week, our agency informed us that I can go and get my fingerprinting requirement completed. I took the soonest appointment in a small town about 45 min away. I get there ready to get this over with (remember this has been an issue for months). A lovely individual calls my name and I walk up to the front. She says, "I need your paper and DL." She proceeds to look at both and here is the best part, "Oh ummm, ma'am you cannot get this completed today because the name on your SS card and name on your DL are different. Another infinite moment passes. I want nothing more than to scream and hit someone. Mostly myself. I say, "I have my birth certificate, marriage license, professional license, anything you want. Please trust I am me and I have to get this done today." I don't know if she was fearful of what I might do or if she saw the look of desperation on my face and was moved by pity, but she said she had a plan. "Okay well I guess I put your married name under and alias or something." I'll take it", I said. 10 minutes later, shockingly without the loss of life or dignity, I had been federally fingerprinted and put in the system.
Literally, and I mean literally, every single piece of paper is completed and ready for approval. We are just waiting on the official signature of the agency VP and we will be licensed and on the list. This has been a crazy roller coaster and lesson in patience. Probably something that will come in handy with kids.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Finally Felt Like A Grown-Up
As the title implies, this past weekend I finally felt like an adult. You see, John and I have been in school for a very very long time. John is currently in grad school working on his M. Div and will hopefully be finished in 2 years. Even though we have been grown-ups (paying bills) throughout our time in school, something about continually making plans around an academic schedule sometimes has us feeling stunted. It doesn't help that society has various ages for when a person can do something. 21 to drink, 18 to join the military, 18 to vote, 25 to rent a car, etc. It takes a long time for someone to reach an age where they are no longer restricted by age to do something.
In my mind adults have kids. I have always thought I would feel like an actual adult when I am in charge of taking care of another human being. I explained this to my father, who insisted that he at the age of 54 he still doesn't always feel or act like an adult. I suppose adulthood is all theoretical anyway. Some countries consider adulthood to begin at ages 13. It was only in the last 100 years or so since people commonly married at 18. Needless to say feeling and being an adult do not happen at the same age for everyone.
This weekend I was on my way to Houston to a continuing education course for work. Upon arrival at the hotel I checked in and quickly changed. I was picked up by one of best friends from elementary school for dinner and drinks. She is an attorney working for a law firm in Houston. Seeing her looking all lawyery (professional and elegant) it hit me, "Geez, we are adults". I played on the swings with this kid at recess, played with animal erasers, had sleepovers with ridiculous amounts of candy, talked about boys....you name it. There I was looking at us in the mirror while we were talking about careers and kids. It was the craziest thing to see this person I have known almost my whole life and to realize how far we have come and where we have gone. I'm not sure this gal knows how special I think she is or amazing she is so her being an awesome attorney is not surprising, but us being so grown-up is sometimes.
Friday my BFF and I went to day one of our training which was a 10 hour day. This friend and I became instant best friends in 2008 in our undergrad program for speech language pathology. We have been inseparable since then. Her and I spent so much time talking about what it would be like to be practicing speech language pathologists, what we would we specialize in, where would we work, what populations would we work with, etc. And here we were in Houston studying yet again. It was really interesting to think about far we have come. After our insanely long day we met a friend of ours from grad school for dinner. Over dinner and fro-yo we discussed our jobs, plans for the future, colleagues, treatment, travel, etc. It was an amazing dinner. I guess for me some of it was strange because 3 years ago we were discussing how we were going to pass the exam and still have a great time at the Harry Potter premier at 12:00 am.
Ideas of when John and I would have children never crossed my mind at that time because it seemed years away. John and I were more interested in where careers and travel would take us. Our friends were getting engaged and married and now our friends are having babies. John and I never thought we would be foster parents. Now half of the conversations John and I have are about kids and foster care. I know these life changes are not a big deal, but it was just something interesting I couldn't help but think about. No matter what kind of plans you make you really never know where life will take you. So yes right now I feel like a grown-up, one with a plan. I am sure once children walk through our doors, my plans will walk out those same doors. I am sure it will include sleepless nights of me wondering if I am or ready to be an adult. I imagine in another 5 years I will have yet another (as John would say) an existential moment that will look nothing like I think it will now.
In my mind adults have kids. I have always thought I would feel like an actual adult when I am in charge of taking care of another human being. I explained this to my father, who insisted that he at the age of 54 he still doesn't always feel or act like an adult. I suppose adulthood is all theoretical anyway. Some countries consider adulthood to begin at ages 13. It was only in the last 100 years or so since people commonly married at 18. Needless to say feeling and being an adult do not happen at the same age for everyone.
This weekend I was on my way to Houston to a continuing education course for work. Upon arrival at the hotel I checked in and quickly changed. I was picked up by one of best friends from elementary school for dinner and drinks. She is an attorney working for a law firm in Houston. Seeing her looking all lawyery (professional and elegant) it hit me, "Geez, we are adults". I played on the swings with this kid at recess, played with animal erasers, had sleepovers with ridiculous amounts of candy, talked about boys....you name it. There I was looking at us in the mirror while we were talking about careers and kids. It was the craziest thing to see this person I have known almost my whole life and to realize how far we have come and where we have gone. I'm not sure this gal knows how special I think she is or amazing she is so her being an awesome attorney is not surprising, but us being so grown-up is sometimes.
Friday my BFF and I went to day one of our training which was a 10 hour day. This friend and I became instant best friends in 2008 in our undergrad program for speech language pathology. We have been inseparable since then. Her and I spent so much time talking about what it would be like to be practicing speech language pathologists, what we would we specialize in, where would we work, what populations would we work with, etc. And here we were in Houston studying yet again. It was really interesting to think about far we have come. After our insanely long day we met a friend of ours from grad school for dinner. Over dinner and fro-yo we discussed our jobs, plans for the future, colleagues, treatment, travel, etc. It was an amazing dinner. I guess for me some of it was strange because 3 years ago we were discussing how we were going to pass the exam and still have a great time at the Harry Potter premier at 12:00 am.
Ideas of when John and I would have children never crossed my mind at that time because it seemed years away. John and I were more interested in where careers and travel would take us. Our friends were getting engaged and married and now our friends are having babies. John and I never thought we would be foster parents. Now half of the conversations John and I have are about kids and foster care. I know these life changes are not a big deal, but it was just something interesting I couldn't help but think about. No matter what kind of plans you make you really never know where life will take you. So yes right now I feel like a grown-up, one with a plan. I am sure once children walk through our doors, my plans will walk out those same doors. I am sure it will include sleepless nights of me wondering if I am or ready to be an adult. I imagine in another 5 years I will have yet another (as John would say) an existential moment that will look nothing like I think it will now.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
More Preparations
As I said last week, June came and went in such a whirlwind I am not even sure there was a June. We have been doing lots of prep lately getting ready to have kids in the home. I have spoken a lot about home preparations, but little about the emotional.
More than ever before, John and I have been told, "It is going to break your heart when they leave you" or some variation of this. While I want to shout... every time... "I KNOW!" I will offer this quote for you and others to consider:
"They have to go someplace, the children you read about in the paper, the injured ones with burns and broken arms, the little ones found alone in cold apartments, the frightened ones in the scenes when parents are arrested on drug charges, the glassy-eyed teenagers sleeping on park benches." -Kathy Harrison, Another Place at the Table
Anna, an incredible friend of ours and her husband are currently foster parents of 2 children. She is able to speak about this particular topic better than I can and she is wonderful with words. But she goes on to say the heartache we are signing up for is worth it because again, this isn't about us. This is about the kids. I highly encourage everyone to read this. The Inevitable Hurt In Foster Care And Why It's Worth It
Anna, an incredible friend of ours and her husband are currently foster parents of 2 children. She is able to speak about this particular topic better than I can and she is wonderful with words. But she goes on to say the heartache we are signing up for is worth it because again, this isn't about us. This is about the kids. I highly encourage everyone to read this. The Inevitable Hurt In Foster Care And Why It's Worth It
My heart is doing its best to prepare for what will come through our doors in possibly weeks. I am already loving and praying for our future kids just as a mother does when she is pregnant (I think, I haven't been pregnant so I guess I can't know for certain). But I know I already love them. I can't wait to meet them, see their personalities, watch them grow and change. I am so excited and yet so scared. Most days I feel lucky to get myself cleaned and fed and now I am jumping through hoops to get the opportunity to take care of some tiny people.
The kids that end up in foster care need a safe and loving place to go. Those types of homes have to come from somewhere. Will our home be perfect? Of course not. Do I know what I am getting into or what to expect? I don't. Do I know what it is like to part with a child you love? I don't, but I am signing up anyway. These kids do not deserve to be punished or miss out on something because I do not want a broken heart. This isn't about me or John, this is about some kiddos who need a place to sleep.
I am not naive. I know this won't make it easier or less painful when a child goes back, but the loss will be the side-effect of a far greater joy. Hopefully they will be leaving our home because they are being re-united with their family. Hopefully someone has done their part to recover and deserves another opportunity to parent. I was once told by some very seasoned foster parents, "nothing will ever prepare you for what you are about to do." I think she was speaking about both the good and the bad.
So in answer to what I can only assume is a rhetorical statement about the heartache of having children leave our home, yes it will cause John and I to experience a heart break like neither of us ever had, but that is not a reason to not do this. We need our friends and family to stand behind us and say, "What do you need?" or "I am here for you." We don't need an "I told you so" because..................... we know.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Summer Slow Down
Sorry about the absence folks. It has been a crazy summer. It started and has not stopped.
John and I went on vacation from June 8th-13th. It was a much needed blessing. While I might live with my husband, I really don't see him as much as I would like and we never see each other without cell phones. This vacation was just the 2 of us and with little technology. It was wonderful to have some one-on-one time. We considered this our "last" trip without kids, or so we think. Once we got back the craziness picked up right where it left off. Finally, amidst errands and chaos with my car yesterday, John said, "I'm hungry" and proceeded to pull into Costco parking lot. He said he wanted a quick bite and this would be a good cheap place. There John took me on a mid afternoon date where we shared a hot dog and a churro under a red and white umbrella. It was an amazing afternoon date. We have learned you take the date where you can and when you can.
We have been getting a lot of questions about where we are at in the foster process and when we are getting kids. The short answer: no idea. I find this is probably normal in the world of foster care. We have training July 12th and a foster parent retreat weekend of July 18th. In my mind we will hopefully be finished sometime in the neighborhood of end of July beginning of August. We will see our social worker on July 12th and are hoping she can give us a better idea then. From what we understand paperwork is pretty much complete. In terms of what we have at home..... not much. The room is finally cleaned out. John and I decided to slow down on the purchasing of things. We don't know what ages or genders we will be getting so we are trying to get the basics and wait until they arrive. While this plan adds to my already existent terror (remember: control freak here) I think it will be the best plan for controlling the chaos of our garage. We already have limited space and preparing for kids between the ages of 0-7 can take up a lot of space if not careful. I looked at daycares recently and we are trying to make a game plan for when the kids get here. We have purchased some things the house has to have and now we just need to install. We passed fire inspection so that is done.
I started a new job on June 17th which I LOVE. It has been a great and pretty peaceful transition which has been a pleasant surprise. I have so much to learn and so much training ahead of me, but it is all in areas that I really care about.
John is doing well. He started a 4 week bible study on worship and he is doing the sermon tomorrow. He has been pretty busy with lots of wonderful things.
It is hard to believe June is almost finished considering it feels like it only began, but that is the way summer usually goes.
John and I went on vacation from June 8th-13th. It was a much needed blessing. While I might live with my husband, I really don't see him as much as I would like and we never see each other without cell phones. This vacation was just the 2 of us and with little technology. It was wonderful to have some one-on-one time. We considered this our "last" trip without kids, or so we think. Once we got back the craziness picked up right where it left off. Finally, amidst errands and chaos with my car yesterday, John said, "I'm hungry" and proceeded to pull into Costco parking lot. He said he wanted a quick bite and this would be a good cheap place. There John took me on a mid afternoon date where we shared a hot dog and a churro under a red and white umbrella. It was an amazing afternoon date. We have learned you take the date where you can and when you can.
We have been getting a lot of questions about where we are at in the foster process and when we are getting kids. The short answer: no idea. I find this is probably normal in the world of foster care. We have training July 12th and a foster parent retreat weekend of July 18th. In my mind we will hopefully be finished sometime in the neighborhood of end of July beginning of August. We will see our social worker on July 12th and are hoping she can give us a better idea then. From what we understand paperwork is pretty much complete. In terms of what we have at home..... not much. The room is finally cleaned out. John and I decided to slow down on the purchasing of things. We don't know what ages or genders we will be getting so we are trying to get the basics and wait until they arrive. While this plan adds to my already existent terror (remember: control freak here) I think it will be the best plan for controlling the chaos of our garage. We already have limited space and preparing for kids between the ages of 0-7 can take up a lot of space if not careful. I looked at daycares recently and we are trying to make a game plan for when the kids get here. We have purchased some things the house has to have and now we just need to install. We passed fire inspection so that is done.
I started a new job on June 17th which I LOVE. It has been a great and pretty peaceful transition which has been a pleasant surprise. I have so much to learn and so much training ahead of me, but it is all in areas that I really care about.
John is doing well. He started a 4 week bible study on worship and he is doing the sermon tomorrow. He has been pretty busy with lots of wonderful things.
It is hard to believe June is almost finished considering it feels like it only began, but that is the way summer usually goes.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Current Status on the Foster Stuff
Well there isn't a whole lot to report. Two weeks ago we had our big psycho-social interview. Saying I was nervous is putting it lightly. The director of our agency came to our house Sunday night. She informed us it could take several hours and we should let her know if we get tired. This concerned me. When someone tells you before an interview, "let me know if you get tired" I panic and think emotionally tired. I know, I am crazy. I knew this interview would include a myriad of personal details about our up bringing that I was slightly hesitant to discuss. Think about how you might respond if someone asked lots of super personal questions on how your were raised, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Long story short it went well. We all had a good time and got along very well. You could almost say it was therapeutic to discuss your childhood, plans for the future, marriage, etc over chips and salsa with someone you have never met before.
Here is the part I love. After our interview she said, "Well everything seems to look pretty good and you guys have been quick with your paperwork, so it looks like you guys could be licensed by mid to late June." That was the moment John and I both looked at each other with mostly panic in our eyes. Our background checks had taken so long we thought we were looking at closer to September before we would be licensed. It didn't take long for us to make a crazy long to-do list, verbally reprimand past John and Ashley for not doing things sooner on a better time schedule, and jump for joy with excitement. We are so excited that this summer could possibly include kids. However based on when trainings look like they will be scheduled we are still not planning on being licensed until end of July.
So what do we have left you ask......
Fire Inspection
Get pets vaccinated (no one, including cats, is looking forward to this) We did this on Saturday and as predicted it is was not fun.
TB test for John and Seester
Training (July 12th)
Finish kids' room
Various simple home repairs
My fingerprinting
Couple more documents like budget form, disaster plan, emergency contacts, etc.
(These are things we are doing)
I think the agency still has to call references and health inspection.
The list is not what I would call daunting, but will take some basic skill in time management. All in all we are doing pretty good. We could really use some prayer that things continue to move right along.
Here is the part I love. After our interview she said, "Well everything seems to look pretty good and you guys have been quick with your paperwork, so it looks like you guys could be licensed by mid to late June." That was the moment John and I both looked at each other with mostly panic in our eyes. Our background checks had taken so long we thought we were looking at closer to September before we would be licensed. It didn't take long for us to make a crazy long to-do list, verbally reprimand past John and Ashley for not doing things sooner on a better time schedule, and jump for joy with excitement. We are so excited that this summer could possibly include kids. However based on when trainings look like they will be scheduled we are still not planning on being licensed until end of July.
So what do we have left you ask......
Fire Inspection
G
Training (July 12th)
Finish kids' room
Various simple home repairs
My fingerprinting
Couple more documents like budget form, disaster plan, emergency contacts, etc.
(These are things we are doing)
I think the agency still has to call references and health inspection.
The list is not what I would call daunting, but will take some basic skill in time management. All in all we are doing pretty good. We could really use some prayer that things continue to move right along.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
What Is It Like for Me on Sundays?
Disclaimer: If you do not like hearing the lovey dovey stuff, be warned. This blog post will contain some of that.
What is it like for me on Sundays? Honestly this is not a question I get asked, however it was one I always wanted to ask other Pastors' spouses. What does a spouse get out of the sermon on Sunday? Of course the Pastor is preaching on Sunday which is basically teaching. Other parishioners are learning and listening to their spiritual leader. What is it like for me when my husband is the spiritual leader? Keep in mind this is very new territory for me, so other seasoned spouses might feel differently.
Sundays are very exciting for me. One Sunday, as I was listening to my husband preach I couldn't help but think how great this minister was, looking at him and realizing I married to this guy. It is so interesting to see someone you have known half your life in different role than at home. It is interesting seeing a spouse in other roles. Generally speaking I know very little about the sermon come Sunday. John doesn't ask to rehearse on me and I don't offer. I think it is exciting to hear his sermon for the first time on Sunday just like everyone else.
Does John teach me? Boy howdy does he teach me. While I often like to say I am my own woman and we are equal partners in the relationship, it isn't true when it when comes to theology. I am light years behind John in my theological development. Do I have a basic understanding? Yes. Am I able to form opinions? Yes. But really what I know could fit in a thimble. John teaches me each and every day (for the record he doesn't just teach me about the Bible, there are some pretty awesome other life things he teaches). He says I challenge him and he likes that, but I think he is being encouraging.
I can't tell you the number of people in the past year who have said, "You sure are lucky to be married to him." This always makes me chuckle. Yes, I am so very lucky to be married to John and will never deserve to be married to such an amazing husband, but I am not sure people realize how that sounds when they say it. There is an implication whether it is meant or not when someone says, "You are so lucky to be married to him." When someone says it, I typically nod and smile. Sometimes when I am feeling sassy I say, "Yep, and he is super lucky to be married to me." I have received some interesting facial expressions with that line.
There is one thing I have not been wild about hearing and it has happened a number of times. John will sometimes introduce me to folks in the church that I have not had the opportunity to meet individually, often because they go to a different service and we do not cross paths at other church functions. John sweetly introduces me and I am met with the, "Oh we just know you as John's wife." Not going to lie, that phrase bothers me. [Husband edit: Me too. I don't try to hide my displeasure either. I have always considered myself a husband first and a pastor second.] When someone says that, it is like they are saying I am not important enough to be worth having my name remembered. I love and support John, and really am his number one fan, but what others need to remember is I have a name. I am an individual with a full time career that I love too. (I too wear more that one "pair of shoes".) I do my best to remember everyone's name. It isn't very kind to assume my only role is to stand behind John and nod at everything he says. We are a team and I am so lucky to be a member of that team, but please assume I have other things to offer as well.
I have a feeling being married to John will be quite the adventure, for many reasons. Not just his career in ministry, but also because he is a fun man with an enthusiasm for life and people, which I admire greatly.
So in answer to the big question What is it like for me on Sundays? An overall wonderful experience that I look forward to having Sunday after Sunday for years to come.
Does John teach me? Boy howdy does he teach me. While I often like to say I am my own woman and we are equal partners in the relationship, it isn't true when it when comes to theology. I am light years behind John in my theological development. Do I have a basic understanding? Yes. Am I able to form opinions? Yes. But really what I know could fit in a thimble. John teaches me each and every day (for the record he doesn't just teach me about the Bible, there are some pretty awesome other life things he teaches). He says I challenge him and he likes that, but I think he is being encouraging.
I can't tell you the number of people in the past year who have said, "You sure are lucky to be married to him." This always makes me chuckle. Yes, I am so very lucky to be married to John and will never deserve to be married to such an amazing husband, but I am not sure people realize how that sounds when they say it. There is an implication whether it is meant or not when someone says, "You are so lucky to be married to him." When someone says it, I typically nod and smile. Sometimes when I am feeling sassy I say, "Yep, and he is super lucky to be married to me." I have received some interesting facial expressions with that line.
There is one thing I have not been wild about hearing and it has happened a number of times. John will sometimes introduce me to folks in the church that I have not had the opportunity to meet individually, often because they go to a different service and we do not cross paths at other church functions. John sweetly introduces me and I am met with the, "Oh we just know you as John's wife." Not going to lie, that phrase bothers me. [Husband edit: Me too. I don't try to hide my displeasure either. I have always considered myself a husband first and a pastor second.] When someone says that, it is like they are saying I am not important enough to be worth having my name remembered. I love and support John, and really am his number one fan, but what others need to remember is I have a name. I am an individual with a full time career that I love too. (I too wear more that one "pair of shoes".) I do my best to remember everyone's name. It isn't very kind to assume my only role is to stand behind John and nod at everything he says. We are a team and I am so lucky to be a member of that team, but please assume I have other things to offer as well.
I have a feeling being married to John will be quite the adventure, for many reasons. Not just his career in ministry, but also because he is a fun man with an enthusiasm for life and people, which I admire greatly.
So in answer to the big question What is it like for me on Sundays? An overall wonderful experience that I look forward to having Sunday after Sunday for years to come.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Purge #2
I should have titled the "Garage Cleaning" post as Purge #1, but didn't. Anyways, we are working on Purge #2 at our house. What do I mean you ask? I mean taking out everything from the guest room to make it a kids room. It has been quite the challenge. We didn't want to just pile all that crap , I mean important belongings into the garage. We are already "those" people that store their inexpensive stuff in the garage as opposed their cars; we just didn't want to make it worse. John is really trying to make sure he gets to keep at least half of the garage for his wood shop. We had to go through lots of items we have been storing here and there in closets for years.
Now you might remember be saying John is a collector. I have to sadly admit I too collect something. Everything from 6 years of college. I have every text book, binder, power-point, research article, everything from undergrad and graduate school. I have a good reason, or so I thought. When SLPs go to college everything we could possibly work with is briefly and quickly hurled at you. You have a short amount of time to learn oodles. You sit there in class being told, "Hey, you might see this so you better know how to treat it." Clearly most of us only remember what we need to in order to pass our big exam and what we use regularly at work. So the rationale was, I shall keep everything and when I come across something I don't remember I shall retrieve my old textbooks, binders, power-points, and research articles. How many tubs of this non-sense do I have you may ask? Oh, in the neighborhood of 5 or so. That takes up a crazy amount of space.
So I took a poll at work. I asked some of the seasoned SLPs if they had any of this stuff still and if they ever needed it or used it. I was met with a resounding "no." One asked me how long I had been out of school. When I told her 2 years, she said "well most of what you learned is already outdated." That was the kick in the pants I needed, and of course the fact that I am officially out of space at my house.
None of this is what John wanted to hear because it meant he had to bring all of those boxes into the house for me to go through. One evening while going through all this I asked him why he left one in the garage. He said, "Well it was really full, so......" I think what he was hoping I would respond with was something like, "okay well since it is full I will keep all that". That is not what I said. Again, he was not so happy. While going through this stuff it became apparent........There is no way I would have ever found or remembered having most of that stuff. I would like to say that made it easier to throw away, but it didn't. As I was going through it I kept thinking, "Oh I remember that now, or I should really re-read this because I need to know it." I know, this instills an incredible amount of faith into my professional competency.
After having my walk through academic memory lane, I decided to throw the majority of it away. I condensed 5 boxes into 1. A feat I would have never thought possible. I think it really motivates a gal when you realize you are out of options if you ever want to make the kids' room look like a kids' room.
We still need to do home repairs, get things in order based on state standards like cleaning products and medicines, and furnish the kids' room. We are quickly running out of time. Our social worker informed us she still thought we would be licensed by end of June or so. Fear and excitement are really the only two emotions I have right now when thinking about all of this.
Now you might remember be saying John is a collector. I have to sadly admit I too collect something. Everything from 6 years of college. I have every text book, binder, power-point, research article, everything from undergrad and graduate school. I have a good reason, or so I thought. When SLPs go to college everything we could possibly work with is briefly and quickly hurled at you. You have a short amount of time to learn oodles. You sit there in class being told, "Hey, you might see this so you better know how to treat it." Clearly most of us only remember what we need to in order to pass our big exam and what we use regularly at work. So the rationale was, I shall keep everything and when I come across something I don't remember I shall retrieve my old textbooks, binders, power-points, and research articles. How many tubs of this non-sense do I have you may ask? Oh, in the neighborhood of 5 or so. That takes up a crazy amount of space.
So I took a poll at work. I asked some of the seasoned SLPs if they had any of this stuff still and if they ever needed it or used it. I was met with a resounding "no." One asked me how long I had been out of school. When I told her 2 years, she said "well most of what you learned is already outdated." That was the kick in the pants I needed, and of course the fact that I am officially out of space at my house.
None of this is what John wanted to hear because it meant he had to bring all of those boxes into the house for me to go through. One evening while going through all this I asked him why he left one in the garage. He said, "Well it was really full, so......" I think what he was hoping I would respond with was something like, "okay well since it is full I will keep all that". That is not what I said. Again, he was not so happy. While going through this stuff it became apparent........There is no way I would have ever found or remembered having most of that stuff. I would like to say that made it easier to throw away, but it didn't. As I was going through it I kept thinking, "Oh I remember that now, or I should really re-read this because I need to know it." I know, this instills an incredible amount of faith into my professional competency.
After having my walk through academic memory lane, I decided to throw the majority of it away. I condensed 5 boxes into 1. A feat I would have never thought possible. I think it really motivates a gal when you realize you are out of options if you ever want to make the kids' room look like a kids' room.
We still need to do home repairs, get things in order based on state standards like cleaning products and medicines, and furnish the kids' room. We are quickly running out of time. Our social worker informed us she still thought we would be licensed by end of June or so. Fear and excitement are really the only two emotions I have right now when thinking about all of this.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Best Month Ever, aka "Better Hearing and Speech Month"
Did you know May is "Better Hearing and Speech Month"? Exciting I know! This is the month SLPs (Speech Language Pathologists) give little tidbits about hearing, speech, language, pragmatics, basically everything we work with (also we get discounts on stuff and have ice cream).
Someone once asked me if I was being pretentious when I said I was a Speech Language Pathologist. He wanted to know why I didn't just say Speech Therapist. Well for starters that is not my title. Yes SLPs do speech therapy, and we are called speech therapists quite often, but that is not our true job title. I am sure you are thinking I am just being snotty. I promise I'm not. I don't care if someone calls me a speech therapist. In fact sometimes I call myself that just to make things easier. The reason we don't go by speech therapist is due to what our job encompasses. Speech therapist implies I only work with speech (like stuttering and articulation), but that is a small part of my job. SLPs work with articulation, language, pragmatics, swallowing, feeding, voice, etc. Language especially makes up a huge amount of our casework. Language includes anything from working with children who do not communicate verbally to an adult who has had a stroke or Traumatic Brain Injury. It also includes working with children who have difficulty with grammar and vocabulary. My best friend works with individuals who have had their larynx (voice box) removed and now use a prosthetic, patients who have had strokes, and she works with babies and adults who have disorders in swallowing/feeding. Other friends work in schools like me. We help children with something as simple as making their "wabbit" sound like "rabbit" to helping a student with significant developmental delays or complex diagnoses learn to communicate without words. The point is we are all called SLPs, but we have jobs that are quite different.
Unfortunately, lately I have spent a good deal of time complaining about my job because of paperwork, policies, state regulations, scheduling, meetings, etc. All of this often takes up more of my work time than I would like. Special Education can look like quite the obstacle course when looking at ARD paperwork and listening to a flood of acronyms.
All of the paperwork, policies, state regulations, scheduling, meetings, etc are in place to help a student succeed; however that doesn't make the paperwork enjoyable. Even with all the not so enjoyable parts of my job, I can without a shadow of doubt say I love being a Speech Language Pathologist. The great really does outweigh the bad. In honor of Better Hearing and Speech month I decided to make a list of just a few of things I love about my job.
1. Hearing a non-verbal child's voice for the first time. I have had the privilege of working with a few children this year who did not speak. The first time one of them said "no" was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Working with someone for 6 months and then suddenly hearing their sweet voice is amazing, even if it is to protest.
2. Kids say the funniest things. Kids are hilarious. They come up with the craziest things. Most of the time they have no idea how truly funny they are.
3. Watching someone do something they couldn't do before. For example, hearing a child call everything a "him" and then suddenly you hear that same child use all their pronouns correctly is very exciting. Grammar can be quite exciting.
4. Themes. I love themes. In graduate school I had a clinical supervisor insist we use themes in our therapy. I didn't like it at the time. I thought themes were silly and time consuming. Now looking at my theme calendar I think themes are the best. I even have my students asking me what the theme is for the week. It makes therapy fun and gives me structure. When you can dedicate a whole week to pirates and accomplish a great deal in speech therapy you know it is going to be a good week.
5. Hearing a parent say they can understand their kid better. When a parent tells me, "Hey this speech stuff is working, I can understand what my child is saying" it is pretty great. Knowing the child isn't struggling as much to share their thoughts and knowing a parent is less stressed because now they understand their child is nice to know.
6. What other job gives you the opportunity to crawl under a table to retrieve a child. Yes there are days I am trying to get a child out from under the table and thinking, "Really kid." Makes me wonder what is so exciting about that table. And of course those days often have me saying things like "not again" or "I chose this". When I am comfortably sitting in my chair at the end of the session, thinking "boy that kid looked happy under there" its not so bad. Plus it is a good way to burn a few calories.
7. Eating. No, not me eating, helping others eat. I haven't had the opportunity this year to work with feeding/swallowing difficulties, but when I was in the nursing home for a short time I did. I had one patient who couldn't drink without having it go down into her lungs. We figured out if her drink was thickened to a certain consistency she could safety drink. Seeing how happy she and her family were when I said she could thicken her coke (or even wine) and drink safely was great. She was so happy to be able to have something she had been without for awhile. Being told you can't eat and drink, especially as an older person is a really hard loss and helping someone regain some of that normalcy is exciting. I hope to someday work with those disorders again.
8. Other forms of communication. Watching and teaching someone of any age to use a different form of communication is one of the most rewarding parts of my job. Being able to see someone communicate effectively with pictures, gestures, facial expressions, or even iPad is such a special experience.
9. Crafts. I do a lot of paper activities in therapy so kiddos can take it home and work on it for practice. I love paper crafts. In other words it is awesome that I get to make stuff at work.
10. Therapy materials/toys or lack there of. I like puzzles and kids are like little mini puzzles. SLPs and families often do not have access to a variety of materials. Finding ways to make therapy fun with a pencil or paper cup is a puzzle. Creating a language rich environment anywhere and everywhere can sometimes be a fun challenge. Nerdy perhaps, but fun.
There are some not so great things about my job, but there are so many wonderful things that make it all worth it.
Someone once asked me if I was being pretentious when I said I was a Speech Language Pathologist. He wanted to know why I didn't just say Speech Therapist. Well for starters that is not my title. Yes SLPs do speech therapy, and we are called speech therapists quite often, but that is not our true job title. I am sure you are thinking I am just being snotty. I promise I'm not. I don't care if someone calls me a speech therapist. In fact sometimes I call myself that just to make things easier. The reason we don't go by speech therapist is due to what our job encompasses. Speech therapist implies I only work with speech (like stuttering and articulation), but that is a small part of my job. SLPs work with articulation, language, pragmatics, swallowing, feeding, voice, etc. Language especially makes up a huge amount of our casework. Language includes anything from working with children who do not communicate verbally to an adult who has had a stroke or Traumatic Brain Injury. It also includes working with children who have difficulty with grammar and vocabulary. My best friend works with individuals who have had their larynx (voice box) removed and now use a prosthetic, patients who have had strokes, and she works with babies and adults who have disorders in swallowing/feeding. Other friends work in schools like me. We help children with something as simple as making their "wabbit" sound like "rabbit" to helping a student with significant developmental delays or complex diagnoses learn to communicate without words. The point is we are all called SLPs, but we have jobs that are quite different.
Unfortunately, lately I have spent a good deal of time complaining about my job because of paperwork, policies, state regulations, scheduling, meetings, etc. All of this often takes up more of my work time than I would like. Special Education can look like quite the obstacle course when looking at ARD paperwork and listening to a flood of acronyms.
All of the paperwork, policies, state regulations, scheduling, meetings, etc are in place to help a student succeed; however that doesn't make the paperwork enjoyable. Even with all the not so enjoyable parts of my job, I can without a shadow of doubt say I love being a Speech Language Pathologist. The great really does outweigh the bad. In honor of Better Hearing and Speech month I decided to make a list of just a few of things I love about my job.
1. Hearing a non-verbal child's voice for the first time. I have had the privilege of working with a few children this year who did not speak. The first time one of them said "no" was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Working with someone for 6 months and then suddenly hearing their sweet voice is amazing, even if it is to protest.
2. Kids say the funniest things. Kids are hilarious. They come up with the craziest things. Most of the time they have no idea how truly funny they are.
3. Watching someone do something they couldn't do before. For example, hearing a child call everything a "him" and then suddenly you hear that same child use all their pronouns correctly is very exciting. Grammar can be quite exciting.
4. Themes. I love themes. In graduate school I had a clinical supervisor insist we use themes in our therapy. I didn't like it at the time. I thought themes were silly and time consuming. Now looking at my theme calendar I think themes are the best. I even have my students asking me what the theme is for the week. It makes therapy fun and gives me structure. When you can dedicate a whole week to pirates and accomplish a great deal in speech therapy you know it is going to be a good week.
5. Hearing a parent say they can understand their kid better. When a parent tells me, "Hey this speech stuff is working, I can understand what my child is saying" it is pretty great. Knowing the child isn't struggling as much to share their thoughts and knowing a parent is less stressed because now they understand their child is nice to know.
6. What other job gives you the opportunity to crawl under a table to retrieve a child. Yes there are days I am trying to get a child out from under the table and thinking, "Really kid." Makes me wonder what is so exciting about that table. And of course those days often have me saying things like "not again" or "I chose this". When I am comfortably sitting in my chair at the end of the session, thinking "boy that kid looked happy under there" its not so bad. Plus it is a good way to burn a few calories.
7. Eating. No, not me eating, helping others eat. I haven't had the opportunity this year to work with feeding/swallowing difficulties, but when I was in the nursing home for a short time I did. I had one patient who couldn't drink without having it go down into her lungs. We figured out if her drink was thickened to a certain consistency she could safety drink. Seeing how happy she and her family were when I said she could thicken her coke (or even wine) and drink safely was great. She was so happy to be able to have something she had been without for awhile. Being told you can't eat and drink, especially as an older person is a really hard loss and helping someone regain some of that normalcy is exciting. I hope to someday work with those disorders again.
8. Other forms of communication. Watching and teaching someone of any age to use a different form of communication is one of the most rewarding parts of my job. Being able to see someone communicate effectively with pictures, gestures, facial expressions, or even iPad is such a special experience.
9. Crafts. I do a lot of paper activities in therapy so kiddos can take it home and work on it for practice. I love paper crafts. In other words it is awesome that I get to make stuff at work.
10. Therapy materials/toys or lack there of. I like puzzles and kids are like little mini puzzles. SLPs and families often do not have access to a variety of materials. Finding ways to make therapy fun with a pencil or paper cup is a puzzle. Creating a language rich environment anywhere and everywhere can sometimes be a fun challenge. Nerdy perhaps, but fun.
There are some not so great things about my job, but there are so many wonderful things that make it all worth it.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
"Whew" Church Marathon Complete
We wrapped another beautiful Easter Season. John likes to call Easter his Super Bowl, or rather I should say he used to. Him calling it his SuperBowl meant it was the thing he looked forward to most during the year. When given the opportunity John likes to go to church as much as possible during Holy Week.
Last year we attended Maunday Thursday service at one church. Friday we attended Stations of the Cross in the afternoon and a Good Friday service in the evening. Saturday I think was spent pondering church (he wanted to go to a Catholic Easter Vigil, but I was rather tired). We wrapped up on Sunday with a Sunrise Easter service. I recognize what I am about to say is probably not something I should say, especially as a pastor's wife, but here it goes..... I do not like sunrise services. It is very difficult for me to worship at 7:00 am or earlier. Had I of been around when Jesus rose from the dead on the 3rd day, I would not have been one of the first to the tomb. It is likely I would have awoken at a later hour and then celebrated his resurrection. I identify very well with some of the other disciples who were "late" to the party that day. While I can and do wake up early I really dislike it.
This year, I am not sure John would call Easter his Super Bowl. It was his first year as pastor, which meant much of the beautiful celebrating plans had to be attended to by him. I think he may see things slightly different being on the other side. He was looking rather tired come Thursday but was still in good spirits overall. We had Maunday Thursday, Good Friday, and 4 services on Sunday.
Now to make things more fun......I am not sure if our senior pastor knew my feelings on sunrise services or if it was just a happy coincidence, but John was asked to give the sermon at the 7:00 am service this year. Of course he was only giving the sermon at the 7:00 am service, so it meant I had to be at that service as opposed to what I normally do when John preaches. Just go to one service at 9:45 and hope I do not miss anything exciting in the other services. One time I thought, well if my husband preaches I should go to all three to be supportive which didn't last long. God makes a better cheerleader anyway. This 7:00 am John preaching sunrise service meant I had to look presentable and be at the church by 6:55 am. Again, not my cup of tea. I am of the firm belief the Lord can be worshiped at 8:30 am on a Sunday. I went to the 7:00 am, prayed, enjoyed the sunrise even though I was super cold and sleepy, came home, and worked on brunch while John attended/worked the next 3 services.
There is a lot of church to be had during Easter. I am learning to embrace our annual church marathon. Knowing my amazing exuberant husband I am sure there will be additional services/celebrations he will attempt to add into the Easter festivities someday [Husband edit: True facts] . I look forward to dressing future children in adorable Easter clothes at unholy hours in the morning, and then taking oodles of pictures. I can't wait for the Easter Egg hunts. I also look forward to the day our children look at me and say, "Mom, church again?" and saying, "You know how your dad feels about church."
At this point we are hunkered down for the end of our respective school years and waiting for the extremely busy summer!
There is a lot of church to be had during Easter. I am learning to embrace our annual church marathon. Knowing my amazing exuberant husband I am sure there will be additional services/celebrations he will attempt to add into the Easter festivities someday [Husband edit: True facts] . I look forward to dressing future children in adorable Easter clothes at unholy hours in the morning, and then taking oodles of pictures. I can't wait for the Easter Egg hunts. I also look forward to the day our children look at me and say, "Mom, church again?" and saying, "You know how your dad feels about church."
At this point we are hunkered down for the end of our respective school years and waiting for the extremely busy summer!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
CPR
Last Saturday John, Katie, and I went to CPR training. Now I know many people are CPR trained and it is only a couple of hours of how to save someone's life when in a pickle, but I was worried.
You see, I have been CPR trained before. I distinctly remember breathing into the dummy's mouth and thinking to myself, "There is no way this air is going into that thing's mouth." The dummy somehow inflates or moves to let the trainee know that air is going to the lungs. This did not happen with my dummy. I did the chest pump thing too which one might think is easier but is, in fact, not. I remember receiving my card and thinking to myself, "I sure hope I never need to do CPR. I am not sure there would be a lot of life saving."
Now add my previous CPR training, which left me feeling less than confident, with this CPR training specifically with intention of teaching me how to save my future foster kids if need be, and you have yourself a recipe for paralyzing fear. John has never been trained before, however my sister has been through this lots and could probably teach the class. (At one point she corrected me and the teacher.)
While maybe not feeling like I am ready to save the world and volunteer for every first aid situation that may arise, I can say I feel better than I did before. It is most likely due to the amazing trainer (and my confident sister). Our CPR trainer was also a foster parent. I thought our agency did that on purpose, but other foster parents said this was the first time they had been taught by a foster parent. She is currently taking care of more medically fragile kiddos. She was patient, kind, honest, and most importantly, realistic. She made the whole class feel as though trying to help someone in a situation requiring CPR is better than doing nothing at all. She also reminded us that common sense during a first aid situation will help too. She shared stories about her experiences and the other experienced parents jumped in with other ideas and experiences. It was great to be taught by someone who knows foster care.
CPR and first aid situations are mostly similar for biological children and foster children, however, there are a couple of fairly significant differences. For example: it is my understanding that everything needs to be documented. Everything. How many biological parents keep a journal of every bruise, scrap, and bump their kids have? We have to do that. We also have to keep every medication in the house under double lock. It is interesting (and probably scary), going through my house and seeing that I leave meds everywhere. I have my allergy pills here, Advil there, nose spray over there, heart burn meds on top of that, etc. I suppose in the future it might be nice to have everything in one place as opposed to my current situation which involves mad scrambles all over the house.
One of the things I am looking forward to most is meeting other foster parents. We met some during the weekend and there is something comforting about knowing there are other people who totally get the situation. They were able to answer questions about social workers, agencies, policies, etc. John and I know one couple we used to go to school with. In fact, they are quite like us, which has been more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined. The husband too is in seminary and the wife has full time job/career. They are our age and chose to jump into this first. They have been our biggest support and help. I am not sure they realize how incredible they are.
Life is crazy and thinking how John and I got this far is wild. [Husband edit: What a difference a year makes!] I guess it could only be divine intervention, as my grandma used to say. In case anyone is wondering, we officially began phase II three weeks ago. There are four phases. It is my understanding that phase II is mostly completed by the agency. Phase III will be more of the home study stuff and lots of interviewing. At our initial home visit our social worker said we were still on track to be licensed by June or July. And now we have one more thing checked off the list!
You see, I have been CPR trained before. I distinctly remember breathing into the dummy's mouth and thinking to myself, "There is no way this air is going into that thing's mouth." The dummy somehow inflates or moves to let the trainee know that air is going to the lungs. This did not happen with my dummy. I did the chest pump thing too which one might think is easier but is, in fact, not. I remember receiving my card and thinking to myself, "I sure hope I never need to do CPR. I am not sure there would be a lot of life saving."
Now add my previous CPR training, which left me feeling less than confident, with this CPR training specifically with intention of teaching me how to save my future foster kids if need be, and you have yourself a recipe for paralyzing fear. John has never been trained before, however my sister has been through this lots and could probably teach the class. (At one point she corrected me and the teacher.)
While maybe not feeling like I am ready to save the world and volunteer for every first aid situation that may arise, I can say I feel better than I did before. It is most likely due to the amazing trainer (and my confident sister). Our CPR trainer was also a foster parent. I thought our agency did that on purpose, but other foster parents said this was the first time they had been taught by a foster parent. She is currently taking care of more medically fragile kiddos. She was patient, kind, honest, and most importantly, realistic. She made the whole class feel as though trying to help someone in a situation requiring CPR is better than doing nothing at all. She also reminded us that common sense during a first aid situation will help too. She shared stories about her experiences and the other experienced parents jumped in with other ideas and experiences. It was great to be taught by someone who knows foster care.
CPR and first aid situations are mostly similar for biological children and foster children, however, there are a couple of fairly significant differences. For example: it is my understanding that everything needs to be documented. Everything. How many biological parents keep a journal of every bruise, scrap, and bump their kids have? We have to do that. We also have to keep every medication in the house under double lock. It is interesting (and probably scary), going through my house and seeing that I leave meds everywhere. I have my allergy pills here, Advil there, nose spray over there, heart burn meds on top of that, etc. I suppose in the future it might be nice to have everything in one place as opposed to my current situation which involves mad scrambles all over the house.
One of the things I am looking forward to most is meeting other foster parents. We met some during the weekend and there is something comforting about knowing there are other people who totally get the situation. They were able to answer questions about social workers, agencies, policies, etc. John and I know one couple we used to go to school with. In fact, they are quite like us, which has been more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined. The husband too is in seminary and the wife has full time job/career. They are our age and chose to jump into this first. They have been our biggest support and help. I am not sure they realize how incredible they are.
Life is crazy and thinking how John and I got this far is wild. [Husband edit: What a difference a year makes!] I guess it could only be divine intervention, as my grandma used to say. In case anyone is wondering, we officially began phase II three weeks ago. There are four phases. It is my understanding that phase II is mostly completed by the agency. Phase III will be more of the home study stuff and lots of interviewing. At our initial home visit our social worker said we were still on track to be licensed by June or July. And now we have one more thing checked off the list!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Strangers In Our Home
Thursday night John informed me he had scheduled our first initial home visit with our social worker for Wednesday night. While I should probably lie, I won't. It made more nervous than I thought it would. Here I am thinking, "Wow, we are really going forward." You see, we have been at a bit of stand still since Spring Break when we turned in our application. We hadn't heard much from the agency and things just seemed to stop for a couple weeks. To most I am sure this is not a big deal, but John and I were so eager and convicted in our decision that it felt like we were put on hold. For perhaps the first time ever in our lives, John wanted to call and email all the time, and I said "let's just wait". [Husband edit: True story!]
Our social worker called John and set-up a time just to see the house. It is my understanding this will not be a detailed "look in every nook and cranny" type visit, but more of a "let's just see what we have to work with" visit. John came home super excited. When he told me I kind of had a rush of anxiety hit me. Even though I am generally a somewhat private person, I didn't think it would really affect me to have someone come through my home. I thought I had mentally prepared myself enough for this that it wouldn't be something that made me nervous. But this is a different type of visit. This a a visit in which someone will be judging my home. They aren't coming in to "visit" or be a guest, but to see if my home is sufficient for a children. While I really appreciate the importance of this it is still interesting to think that expectant parents get baby showers and I get inspection checks. It's not discouraging or upsetting; it's just something to think about. My nesting time won't be like everyone else's; which I knew when I signed up. I have always had an idea that my being an "expectant" parent would be very different. I am guessing the anxiety and nervousness is hopefully very similar to a new mother who knows she will have her first child in several months.
I imagine this whole process will be an interesting one. Having someone who doesn't know me, ask me every private detail, check my home, interview my loved ones, friends, co-workers, and ask them if I am ready to be a parent will be different. Other individuals who decide to have children make the decision with their significant others. Interviews, references, home checks aren't conducted. While my heart is preparing just like any other soon-to-be-parent, the other "preparations" are completely different. It is really another way we prepare our hearts for the precious souls who will be in our home.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Exercising Together
My husband is quite amazing. I am sure this won't be the last time I type this. John and I tried to get the most from our Spring Break.
2 weeks into this kickboxing thing I don't loathe it. I am not delusional enough to say that I look forward to it or it is the best thing ever, but there are worse things.
One rather fit looking lady approached me half way through the last workout and said, "What is he going to make us do now?" I realize I should have been encouraging, but this woman, upon walking in at the beginning of class, informed another woman she had worked out before and was familiar with this kind of thing. I assumed she would do well while making many of us look bad. But when she approached me looking like she might not survive the next 5 minutes let alone the next 30 minutes (which I looked the same by the way) .....I said, "It is always worse. I always think it can't get worse and then the instructor says something worse." Needless to say she didn't look amused when I told her.
A good example of this was about a week ago. The instructor had us do a series of things I was less than pleased about, but just when I think I don't want to watch him step on a lego he says, "Okay now Bear Crawls." I loose my .......... I was mad. Why, why oh why are terrible elementary school gym class techniques considered a good idea. For those of us that were not athletic in school (me) this Bear Crawl thing brings horrible flash backs.
So 5 minutes of bear crawls later and the bell sounds off. No joke, I think "Sweet wonderful Jesus I am done, the rest of the workout will be great, only to hear that what I assume to be the devil yelling, "Okay reverse Bear Crawl!"
No sir! Not happening! I am going to cover your house in the tiniest and pointiest of legos I can find. I hate you sir. I didn't say any of it because he could smash me without even trying, but I thought it. Fiercely. I watched the very fit man next me struggle through this amazing gym class maneuver and decided I was, in fact, in hell.
Surprisingly I did not quit my membership after that workout, but let's just say I don't look forward to seeing that madman instructor again. Maybe someday when I can outrun someone chasing me I might think of him fondly, but today is not that day.
Monday of Spring break I went to church with him, because truthfully I never get as much work as I think I will done in my pajamas, so I figured the church library would be a great place to go. I got over half of the paperwork I needed to get finished completed which was lovely. Then John and I headed to our first kickboxing class. I have done this before many many many years ago and loved it. We know we need to exercise and try to make it something we enjoy so we tried a kickboxing studio close to our house. The classes are more expensive than I would like, but the schedule is amazing. This is pretty much how my first hour went for me:
5:30 (warm-up)- "Okay I think I can do this. This isn't so bad"
5:40 (warm-up)- "I wonder if this is still the warm-up. This sure doesn't seem like a warm-up. We must have started the workout."
5:45- Instructor informs us we are done with the warm-up. It was at that point I was sure I wasn't going to make it. "What kind of warm-up was that. My instructor is a crazy person"
5:50- When is this fool going to let me get some water? I think I am dying. I am destined to be out of shape the rest of my life. This is longest work-out I have ever done.
5:55 - Instructor says get water. I think lying down is a better option, but know if I get down on the floor I am not getting up.
6:00- I think I hear John say something encouraging, but I am just starting to see fuzzy everywhere. This is crazy. There is no way I am making it the full hour.
6:10-"That's it, I am dying. I don't have the will to survive."
6:15- Instructor says to get water and then we will do the abs. I think, "Excuse me sir, abs? I thought that was included in what I had already been doing. What kind of Abs and whose abs? Blondie, over there. She looks like she has time and energy for abs. Even if I had abs they couldn't be seen right now. I have bigger fish to fry." The instructor then says if you need to, you can put your feet under the bag for support but try not to when doing your sit-up. Again I think, "Sit-up. I haven't done one in awhile. I will be shocked if I make it all the way up."
6:20- I do in fact manage some complete sit-ups. I am having a victory party in my mind which is immediately brought to a crashing halt when I informed we still have 10 minutes of abs.
6:30- I am red in the face, can't breathe, can't walk, burning chest, and just mad. When the super fit, very kind woman from the front desk approaches me, "Ready to join?" It was at that moment I should have said, "No way," but she was so nice and John was so excited, and I am so out of shape I said okay.
2 weeks into this kickboxing thing I don't loathe it. I am not delusional enough to say that I look forward to it or it is the best thing ever, but there are worse things.
One rather fit looking lady approached me half way through the last workout and said, "What is he going to make us do now?" I realize I should have been encouraging, but this woman, upon walking in at the beginning of class, informed another woman she had worked out before and was familiar with this kind of thing. I assumed she would do well while making many of us look bad. But when she approached me looking like she might not survive the next 5 minutes let alone the next 30 minutes (which I looked the same by the way) .....I said, "It is always worse. I always think it can't get worse and then the instructor says something worse." Needless to say she didn't look amused when I told her.
A good example of this was about a week ago. The instructor had us do a series of things I was less than pleased about, but just when I think I don't want to watch him step on a lego he says, "Okay now Bear Crawls." I loose my .......... I was mad. Why, why oh why are terrible elementary school gym class techniques considered a good idea. For those of us that were not athletic in school (me) this Bear Crawl thing brings horrible flash backs.
So 5 minutes of bear crawls later and the bell sounds off. No joke, I think "Sweet wonderful Jesus I am done, the rest of the workout will be great, only to hear that what I assume to be the devil yelling, "Okay reverse Bear Crawl!"
No sir! Not happening! I am going to cover your house in the tiniest and pointiest of legos I can find. I hate you sir. I didn't say any of it because he could smash me without even trying, but I thought it. Fiercely. I watched the very fit man next me struggle through this amazing gym class maneuver and decided I was, in fact, in hell.
Surprisingly I did not quit my membership after that workout, but let's just say I don't look forward to seeing that madman instructor again. Maybe someday when I can outrun someone chasing me I might think of him fondly, but today is not that day.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Foster Care Here We Come
This is an insanely long story, but here it goes. John and I decided to officially start the process to become foster parents.
John and I have always wanted to adopt. [That story is really a whole other story which we will get into later.] Last year about this time John and I decided we would spend the year doing research and making a financial plan for international adoption. We said by summer 2014 we would be filling out applications and hopefully have an agency selected and our plan mapped out. Well, as you can imagine, life happens. The events of that summer had nothing to do with any single part of our carefully laid plans. John started a new job, we survived a challenging house hunt and move, I started a new job, we started with a new church. Life really took a left turn on us. By Summer's end we realized little had been done or researched. I remember heading to the bookstore before a long bus trip back to DFW in August. I grabbed an array of international adoption books. By the end of October dust had settled on the books and we were looking at each other as if to say "we better figure something out stat." We both felt the urge but had little to no information and ultimately no plan. We started looking at our fiances to see how we were going to come up with $30,000-$50,000.
My dad had come for a visit and I decided to break the news to him. I told him we were really getting serious about international adoption. Dad got quiet then asked, "Why not domestic adoption? Why are you so focused on international adoption?" Sadly my response was something like this..... "uhhhhhhh, well ummmm". Yeah. Not really a great reason. So I did what any good wife would do and said, "Hey husband, why international adoption?" John's reasons (which ultimately were the same as mine) can be summed up into 2 things:
1. We thought international adoption would make things less tricky with biological parents.
2. International families are super cool. For real.
It didn't take us long to figure out that the Holy Spirit probably didn't move us in that direction, and if it had, it certainly was not for those reasons. So then we asked ourselves the hard question: Why not domestic adoption, specifically older children (toddlers to school age). We prayed a lot and talked constantly. Both of us were really troubled because it felt like we might actually be called to something we had never even considered in the first place. Something that intimidated and scared us.
John and I started to research foster to adopt. I was reading a friend's incredible blog and she mentioned the Orphan Care Conference she was going to. It took me about 10 seconds to text her and tell her I wanted to go. She was so encouraging and helpful. I registered John and myself and away we drove, all the way over to Tyler, TX. We went to the conference and experienced one of the most intense emotional weekends I have ever had. It was amazing. The conference speakers didn't say anything about fostering and adoption being easy or sell us some bill of goods. It was honest, loving, Christian brothers and sisters who shared their stories with us. The day was a whirlwind of motion and emotion, and totally unforgettable. John and I cried and laughed on our 2 hour car trip home. We decided to each take time to pray and decide what we wanted to do independently. Neither of us of wanted to be responsible for convincing the other of something, so we took the week. Friday night we had a dinner date. I tend to be pushy so I asked John to tell me first because I wanted to make sure I didn't bulldoze his thoughts or feelings with my ideas. We found we both wanted the same thing: to be foster parents. That was at the beginning of February.
In the last couple of quick weeks, we prayed, did some homework on agencies and DFPS, met with other foster parents who are friends of ours, prayed a bit more, and here we are. This week we had orientation with Methodist Children's Home and have officially begun the process. We plan on submitting the application this week, sending home pictures next week, making some various home repairs next week, and so on. We met the amazing social worker who will be our case manager and asked her thousands of questions which she patiently and eagerly answered.
The road is long and full of lots of training, paperwork, interviews, and appointments. Our case manager's goal (and ours) is to be licensed by June. Quite a tall order, but a challenge we couldn't be more excited about. I really cannot think of a better way start our Lenten season. While part of me is completely flabbergasted at the short time it has taken us to get this far, I can honestly say it must be divine intervention, or inspiration at the very least. I cannot think of a choice John and I have ever made this easily and decisively. Something about it just feels like we are in the right place. Now this doesn't mean we aren't terrified. We are, in fact, incredibly nervous and anxious. This is not what we had originally planned for, but as a wise friend once told me, "If you want to see God laugh, make your own plans."
We hope you will pray for us and with us, and also pray for children we may have in our home one day. I'm not sure we will ever be ready, but we are willing to provide a loving Christian home and we are certain God will honor our efforts.
John and I have always wanted to adopt. [That story is really a whole other story which we will get into later.] Last year about this time John and I decided we would spend the year doing research and making a financial plan for international adoption. We said by summer 2014 we would be filling out applications and hopefully have an agency selected and our plan mapped out. Well, as you can imagine, life happens. The events of that summer had nothing to do with any single part of our carefully laid plans. John started a new job, we survived a challenging house hunt and move, I started a new job, we started with a new church. Life really took a left turn on us. By Summer's end we realized little had been done or researched. I remember heading to the bookstore before a long bus trip back to DFW in August. I grabbed an array of international adoption books. By the end of October dust had settled on the books and we were looking at each other as if to say "we better figure something out stat." We both felt the urge but had little to no information and ultimately no plan. We started looking at our fiances to see how we were going to come up with $30,000-$50,000.
My dad had come for a visit and I decided to break the news to him. I told him we were really getting serious about international adoption. Dad got quiet then asked, "Why not domestic adoption? Why are you so focused on international adoption?" Sadly my response was something like this..... "uhhhhhhh, well ummmm". Yeah. Not really a great reason. So I did what any good wife would do and said, "Hey husband, why international adoption?" John's reasons (which ultimately were the same as mine) can be summed up into 2 things:
1. We thought international adoption would make things less tricky with biological parents.
2. International families are super cool. For real.
It didn't take us long to figure out that the Holy Spirit probably didn't move us in that direction, and if it had, it certainly was not for those reasons. So then we asked ourselves the hard question: Why not domestic adoption, specifically older children (toddlers to school age). We prayed a lot and talked constantly. Both of us were really troubled because it felt like we might actually be called to something we had never even considered in the first place. Something that intimidated and scared us.
John and I started to research foster to adopt. I was reading a friend's incredible blog and she mentioned the Orphan Care Conference she was going to. It took me about 10 seconds to text her and tell her I wanted to go. She was so encouraging and helpful. I registered John and myself and away we drove, all the way over to Tyler, TX. We went to the conference and experienced one of the most intense emotional weekends I have ever had. It was amazing. The conference speakers didn't say anything about fostering and adoption being easy or sell us some bill of goods. It was honest, loving, Christian brothers and sisters who shared their stories with us. The day was a whirlwind of motion and emotion, and totally unforgettable. John and I cried and laughed on our 2 hour car trip home. We decided to each take time to pray and decide what we wanted to do independently. Neither of us of wanted to be responsible for convincing the other of something, so we took the week. Friday night we had a dinner date. I tend to be pushy so I asked John to tell me first because I wanted to make sure I didn't bulldoze his thoughts or feelings with my ideas. We found we both wanted the same thing: to be foster parents. That was at the beginning of February.
In the last couple of quick weeks, we prayed, did some homework on agencies and DFPS, met with other foster parents who are friends of ours, prayed a bit more, and here we are. This week we had orientation with Methodist Children's Home and have officially begun the process. We plan on submitting the application this week, sending home pictures next week, making some various home repairs next week, and so on. We met the amazing social worker who will be our case manager and asked her thousands of questions which she patiently and eagerly answered.
The road is long and full of lots of training, paperwork, interviews, and appointments. Our case manager's goal (and ours) is to be licensed by June. Quite a tall order, but a challenge we couldn't be more excited about. I really cannot think of a better way start our Lenten season. While part of me is completely flabbergasted at the short time it has taken us to get this far, I can honestly say it must be divine intervention, or inspiration at the very least. I cannot think of a choice John and I have ever made this easily and decisively. Something about it just feels like we are in the right place. Now this doesn't mean we aren't terrified. We are, in fact, incredibly nervous and anxious. This is not what we had originally planned for, but as a wise friend once told me, "If you want to see God laugh, make your own plans."
We hope you will pray for us and with us, and also pray for children we may have in our home one day. I'm not sure we will ever be ready, but we are willing to provide a loving Christian home and we are certain God will honor our efforts.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Being Social
Saturday night our church had the "kickoff" for supper club. From what I learned, supper club is a time to get to know people within the church that you might not ordinarily get the chance to interact with. Groups are supposed to be shuffled every 6 months or so. There are three kinds of groups. Groups that meet at each others houses, groups that meet at each others houses and add games to the mix, and groups that meet at restaurants. Tonight everyone got together and had dinner before we are broken up into smaller groups.
Everyone just gathered in the "big room" as we call it, mingled, got to know one another, ate, and had a wonderful time. It was exciting to see people gathered together, chatting, laughing, just having fun.
John is very extroverted [Husband edit: I can't help it that people find me likeable]. He loves people, he loves talking to people, he loves being around big groups of people. Truthfully I don't think I have ever seen the man shy or any kind of situation that he would call uncomfortable. Somehow no matter how big or small the crowd is, my husband just floats in the room. I can't imagine what a social setting would have to look like for him to be uncomfortable[Husband edit 2: Meeting Nathan Fillion]. I suppose it is one of the many gifts God gave him that will undoubtedly be helpful in being a pastor.
I, on the other hand, would call myself an introvert. I don't like large groups of people and in fact can be quite uncomfortable with large groups, especially when in tighter places. I did great during a train situation on Saturday but that is a story for a different time. I prefer my groups small. I am not a fan of loud places either. This lovely trait is something I have been quite nervous about. I knew when John said he had the call to be a pastor that it meant I better get used to big crowds.
Tonight was great. I got to interact with people in a smaller setting than the normal Sunday sized group. It made me feel at home in our church. I am really getting to know people and people are starting to get to know us. This supper club experience is just one of the many reasons I feel super blessed to be a part of our church.
Everyone just gathered in the "big room" as we call it, mingled, got to know one another, ate, and had a wonderful time. It was exciting to see people gathered together, chatting, laughing, just having fun.
John is very extroverted [Husband edit: I can't help it that people find me likeable]. He loves people, he loves talking to people, he loves being around big groups of people. Truthfully I don't think I have ever seen the man shy or any kind of situation that he would call uncomfortable. Somehow no matter how big or small the crowd is, my husband just floats in the room. I can't imagine what a social setting would have to look like for him to be uncomfortable[Husband edit 2: Meeting Nathan Fillion]. I suppose it is one of the many gifts God gave him that will undoubtedly be helpful in being a pastor.
I, on the other hand, would call myself an introvert. I don't like large groups of people and in fact can be quite uncomfortable with large groups, especially when in tighter places. I did great during a train situation on Saturday but that is a story for a different time. I prefer my groups small. I am not a fan of loud places either. This lovely trait is something I have been quite nervous about. I knew when John said he had the call to be a pastor that it meant I better get used to big crowds.
Tonight was great. I got to interact with people in a smaller setting than the normal Sunday sized group. It made me feel at home in our church. I am really getting to know people and people are starting to get to know us. This supper club experience is just one of the many reasons I feel super blessed to be a part of our church.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Garage Cleaning
It is that lovely time again for our family. Garage cleaning is not what I would call our favorite chore. In fact, it is a time when John and I don't get along well. Something about me putting on my "bossy" pants and deciding to get rid of all our possessions makes for a hostile situation. Go figure.
John loves reading. Always has and always will. He loves books: the way they smell, feel, look, the whole thing, which is why he doesn't own an electronic reader. I think he prefers learning whatever it is he is learning from the pages of book rather than the glow of an LED screen. I respect this notion, I really do. I love my husband's love of books and reading. It is, however, becoming a bit of a logistical problem. He wants to keep all these books for our "someday" library. I too want our own mini library. I mean, I haven't read any of the books in his library, but I think it will make the whole house look smart if we have all those books displayed. It's the moving of these books that is causing trouble. There are just so many and they are just so heavy. They take up space, collect dust, and require extra time to move. So when garage cleaning comes around you can bet this is a conversation we have. Every time.
The other conversation/heated discussion we frequently have when garage cleaning is the matter of "stuff" or sentimental items. Thankfully we have each tried to meet somewhere in the middle and are beginning to get somewhere on this topic. I'm not a heartless person, I just don't like stuff. I don't like clutter, nick-nacks, or other various collectible items. Anything that has to be dusted, forget it. I have managed to condense much of my childhood and high school into one plastic box. John enjoys the memories and likes to collect certain things. My sister, who lives with us, has been a wonderful help in the garage cleaning, and acts as a great third party in times like this.
It's my minimalist attitude versus John's sentimental side. We are getting there. He has taught me it is important to have things that remind us of special events and collections add character to a home, tell people who we are. I think I have taught him that photos also help in remembering important events and clearing out some of that "stuff" clears the mind and makes us feel better. John will be the one someday to have a collection of our kids' art work, cards, awards, etc and I will be the one that will keep us from needing a mansion and 3 storage units to contain all the miscellaneous scraps of many lives.
So next time we clean the garage the task might be easier and faster, though I seriously doubt it. It's these events that make me want to pull my hair out during, but laugh later.
-Hers
John loves reading. Always has and always will. He loves books: the way they smell, feel, look, the whole thing, which is why he doesn't own an electronic reader. I think he prefers learning whatever it is he is learning from the pages of book rather than the glow of an LED screen. I respect this notion, I really do. I love my husband's love of books and reading. It is, however, becoming a bit of a logistical problem. He wants to keep all these books for our "someday" library. I too want our own mini library. I mean, I haven't read any of the books in his library, but I think it will make the whole house look smart if we have all those books displayed. It's the moving of these books that is causing trouble. There are just so many and they are just so heavy. They take up space, collect dust, and require extra time to move. So when garage cleaning comes around you can bet this is a conversation we have. Every time.
The other conversation/heated discussion we frequently have when garage cleaning is the matter of "stuff" or sentimental items. Thankfully we have each tried to meet somewhere in the middle and are beginning to get somewhere on this topic. I'm not a heartless person, I just don't like stuff. I don't like clutter, nick-nacks, or other various collectible items. Anything that has to be dusted, forget it. I have managed to condense much of my childhood and high school into one plastic box. John enjoys the memories and likes to collect certain things. My sister, who lives with us, has been a wonderful help in the garage cleaning, and acts as a great third party in times like this.
It's my minimalist attitude versus John's sentimental side. We are getting there. He has taught me it is important to have things that remind us of special events and collections add character to a home, tell people who we are. I think I have taught him that photos also help in remembering important events and clearing out some of that "stuff" clears the mind and makes us feel better. John will be the one someday to have a collection of our kids' art work, cards, awards, etc and I will be the one that will keep us from needing a mansion and 3 storage units to contain all the miscellaneous scraps of many lives.
So next time we clean the garage the task might be easier and faster, though I seriously doubt it. It's these events that make me want to pull my hair out during, but laugh later.
-Hers
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Here It Is...
Well... here it is. John and I have decided to start a blog. I
know, it seems as though everyone we know has a blog. We decided to start our
own for several reasons:
1. We are luckily getting to know many beautiful and wonderful people. Many of these people are far away, so what better way to keep all those we love in the loop than through a blog?
2. John and I have found we know little and need to learn much! I suppose being a couple of our age it comes with the territory. I mean he is in his first year of being a pastor and I am only in my second year as a Speech Language Pathologist. There is so much we don’t know and are constantly learning about: life, marriage, finances, someday children, ministry, careers, even friendship. We figure it’s best to put it somewhere so maybe we can look back and remind ourselves when we inevitably forget.
3. We think we are kinda different. Why not share and hope we meet more like us?
1. We are luckily getting to know many beautiful and wonderful people. Many of these people are far away, so what better way to keep all those we love in the loop than through a blog?
2. John and I have found we know little and need to learn much! I suppose being a couple of our age it comes with the territory. I mean he is in his first year of being a pastor and I am only in my second year as a Speech Language Pathologist. There is so much we don’t know and are constantly learning about: life, marriage, finances, someday children, ministry, careers, even friendship. We figure it’s best to put it somewhere so maybe we can look back and remind ourselves when we inevitably forget.
3. We think we are kinda different. Why not share and hope we meet more like us?
4. I hear writing
a blog is therapeutic...well it looks like it. The friends I have who write
blogs and the blogs I read seem to have an air about them that says “this feels
good!”
This blog will be a shared effort, which means sometimes John
will post and sometimes I will post. We (and by "we" I really mean
we, okay I think I suggested it and he liked it) chose the name "Our Shoe
Closet". We wear many shoes everyday. For example on any given day I wear
my speech language pathologist shoes, sister shoes, pastor's wife shoes, friend
shoes, shopping shoes, crafting shoes, etc. John will quite often wear his
Pastor shoes, husband shoes, grandson shoes, friend shoes, hobby seeking shoes,
traveling shoes, board game lover shoes etc. We also have plain John and Ashley
shoes. When we stood back and took a look in our “closet” we realized it was quite a collection; one we hope to add to in the future. I admit it is kinda
cheesy, but I think it is cute. You have to admit it is super catchy.
We hope that through this handy blog we will be able to better explain and keep loved ones in the loop in our day-to-day lives. We are not really into making big important and personal status updates on Facebook. I don't enjoy sharing the personal stuff in that small box, knowing it just pops up on the informative news feed. It just seems strange. Generally John and I keep our Facebook stuff pretty mundane. I don't know how personal the blog will get, but hopefully it will shed some light on our comings and goings. Check in with us often to get all the news on the ups and downs and adventures of our life.
-Hers
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