Best Month Ever, aka "Better Hearing and Speech Month"

Did you know May is "Better Hearing and Speech Month"? Exciting I know! This is the month SLPs (Speech Language Pathologists) give little tidbits about hearing, speech, language, pragmatics, basically everything we work with (also we get discounts on stuff and have ice cream). 

Someone once asked me if I was being pretentious when I said I was a Speech Language Pathologist. He wanted to know why I didn't just say Speech Therapist. Well for starters that is not my title. Yes SLPs do speech therapy, and we are called speech therapists quite often, but that is not our true job title. I am sure you are thinking I am just being snotty. I promise I'm not. I don't care if someone calls me a speech therapist. In fact sometimes I call myself that just to make things easier. The reason we don't go by speech therapist is due to what our job encompasses. Speech therapist implies I only work with speech (like stuttering and articulation), but that is a small part of my job. SLPs work with articulation, language, pragmatics, swallowing, feeding, voice, etc. Language especially makes up a huge amount of our casework. Language includes anything from working with children who do not communicate verbally to an adult who has had a stroke or Traumatic Brain Injury. It also includes working with children who have difficulty with grammar and vocabulary.  My best friend works with individuals who have had their larynx (voice box) removed and now use a prosthetic, patients who have had strokes, and she works with babies and adults who have disorders in swallowing/feeding. Other friends work in schools like me. We help children with something as simple as making their "wabbit" sound like "rabbit" to helping a student with significant developmental delays or complex diagnoses learn to communicate without words. The point is we are all called SLPs, but we have jobs that are quite different. 

Unfortunately, lately I  have spent a good deal of time complaining about my job because of paperwork, policies,  state regulations, scheduling, meetings, etc. All of this often takes up more of my work time than I would like. Special Education can look like quite the obstacle course when looking at ARD paperwork and listening to a flood of acronyms. 

All of the paperwork, policies,  state regulations, scheduling, meetings, etc are in place to help a student succeed; however that doesn't make the paperwork enjoyable. Even with all the not so enjoyable parts of my job,  I can without a shadow of doubt say I love being a Speech Language Pathologist. The great really does outweigh the bad.  In honor of Better Hearing and Speech month I decided to make a list of just a few of things I love about my job.

1. Hearing a non-verbal child's voice for the first time. I have had the privilege of working with a few children this year who did not speak. The first time one of them said "no" was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Working with someone for 6 months and then suddenly hearing their sweet voice is amazing, even if it is to protest.  

2. Kids say the funniest things. Kids are hilarious. They come up with the craziest things. Most of the time they have no idea how truly funny they are. 

3. Watching someone do something they couldn't do before. For example, hearing a child call everything a "him" and then suddenly you hear that same child use all their pronouns correctly is very exciting. Grammar can be quite exciting. 

4. Themes. I love themes. In graduate school I had a clinical supervisor insist we use themes in our therapy. I didn't like it at the time. I thought themes were silly and time consuming. Now looking at my theme calendar I think themes are the best. I even have my students asking me what the theme is for the week. It makes therapy fun and gives me structure. When you can dedicate a whole week to pirates and accomplish a great deal in speech therapy you know it is going to be a good week. 

5. Hearing a parent say they can understand their kid better. When a parent tells me, "Hey this speech stuff is working, I can understand what my child is saying" it is pretty great. Knowing the child isn't struggling as much to share their thoughts and knowing a parent is less stressed because now they understand their child is nice to know. 

6. What other job gives you the opportunity to crawl under a table to retrieve a child. Yes there are days I am trying to get a child out from under the table and thinking, "Really kid." Makes me wonder what is so exciting about that table. And of course those days often have me saying things like "not again" or "I chose this". When I am comfortably sitting in my chair at the end of the session, thinking "boy that kid looked happy under there" its not so bad. Plus it is a good way to burn a few calories. 

7. Eating. No, not me eating, helping others eat. I haven't had the opportunity this year to work with feeding/swallowing difficulties, but when I was in the nursing home for a short time I did. I had one patient who couldn't drink without having it go down into her lungs. We figured out if her drink was thickened to a certain consistency she could safety drink. Seeing how happy she and her family were when I said she could thicken her coke (or even wine) and drink safely was great. She was so happy to be able to have something she had been without for awhile. Being told you can't eat and drink, especially as an older person is a really hard loss and helping someone regain some of that normalcy is exciting. I hope to someday work with those disorders again. 

8. Other forms of communication. Watching and teaching someone of any age to use a different form of communication is one of the most rewarding parts of my job. Being able to see someone communicate effectively with pictures, gestures, facial expressions, or even iPad is such a special experience. 

9. Crafts. I do a lot of paper activities in therapy so kiddos can take it home and work on it for practice. I love paper crafts. In other words it is awesome that I get to make stuff at work. 

10. Therapy materials/toys or lack there of. I like puzzles and kids are like little mini puzzles. SLPs and families often do not have access to a variety of materials. Finding ways to make therapy fun with a pencil or paper cup is a puzzle.  Creating a language rich environment anywhere and everywhere can sometimes be a fun challenge. Nerdy perhaps, but fun. 

There are some not so great things about my job, but there are so many wonderful  things that make it all worth it. 

"Whew" Church Marathon Complete

We wrapped another beautiful Easter Season.  John likes to call Easter his Super Bowl, or rather I should say he used to. Him calling it his SuperBowl meant it was the thing he looked forward to most during the year. When given the opportunity John likes to go to church as much as possible during Holy Week. 

Last year we attended Maunday Thursday service at one church. Friday we attended Stations of the Cross in the afternoon and a Good Friday service in the evening. Saturday I think was spent pondering church (he wanted to go to a Catholic Easter Vigil, but I was rather tired). We wrapped up on Sunday with a Sunrise Easter service. I recognize what I am about to say is probably not something I should say, especially as a pastor's wife, but here it goes..... I do not like sunrise services. It is very difficult for me to worship at 7:00 am or earlier. Had I of been around when Jesus rose from the dead on the 3rd day, I would not have been one of the first to the tomb. It is likely I would have awoken at a later hour and then celebrated his resurrection. I identify very well with some of the other disciples who were "late" to the party that day. While I can and do wake up early I really dislike it. 

This year, I am not sure John would call Easter his Super Bowl. It was his first year as pastor, which meant much of the beautiful celebrating plans had to be attended to by him. I think he may see things slightly different being on the other side. He was looking rather tired come Thursday but was still in good spirits overall. We had Maunday Thursday, Good Friday, and 4 services on Sunday.  

Now to make things more fun......I am not sure if our senior pastor knew my feelings on sunrise services or if it was just a happy coincidence, but John was asked to give the sermon at the 7:00 am service this year. Of course he was only giving the sermon at the 7:00 am service, so it meant I had to be at that service as opposed to what I normally do when John preaches. Just go to one service at 9:45 and hope I do not miss anything exciting in the other services. One time I thought, well if my husband preaches I should go to all three to be supportive which didn't last long. God makes a better cheerleader anyway.  This 7:00 am John preaching sunrise service meant I had to look presentable and be at the church by 6:55 am. Again, not my cup of tea. I am of the firm belief the Lord can be worshiped at 8:30 am on a Sunday. I went to the 7:00 am, prayed, enjoyed the sunrise even though I was super cold and sleepy,  came home, and worked on brunch while John attended/worked the next 3 services. 

There is a lot of church to be had during Easter. I am learning to embrace our annual church marathon. Knowing my amazing exuberant husband I am sure there will be additional services/celebrations he will attempt to add into the Easter festivities someday [Husband edit: True facts] .  I look forward to dressing future children in adorable Easter clothes at unholy hours in the morning, and then taking oodles of pictures. I can't wait for the Easter Egg hunts. I also look forward to the day our children look at me and say, "Mom, church again?" and saying, "You know how your dad feels about church." 

At this point we are hunkered down for the end of our respective school years and waiting for the extremely busy summer!

CPR

Last Saturday John, Katie, and I went to CPR training. Now I know many people are CPR trained and it is only a couple of hours of how to save someone's life when in a pickle, but I was worried. 

You see, I have been CPR trained before. I distinctly remember breathing into the dummy's mouth and thinking to myself, "There is no way this air is going into that thing's mouth." The dummy somehow inflates or moves to let the trainee know that air is going to the lungs. This did not happen with my dummy. I did the chest pump thing too which one might think is easier but is, in fact, not. I remember receiving my card and thinking to myself, "I sure hope I never need to do CPR. I am not sure there would be a lot of life saving."

Now add my previous CPR training, which left me feeling less than confident, with this CPR training specifically with intention of teaching me how to save my future foster kids if need be, and you have yourself a recipe for paralyzing fear. John has never been trained before, however my sister has been through this lots and could probably teach the class. (At one point she corrected me and the teacher.) 

While maybe not feeling like I am ready to save the world and volunteer for every first aid situation that may arise, I can say I feel better than I did before. It is most likely due to the amazing trainer (and my confident sister). Our CPR trainer was also a foster parent. I thought our agency did that on purpose, but other foster parents said this was the first time they had been taught by a foster parent. She is currently taking care of more medically fragile kiddos. She was patient, kind, honest, and most importantly, realistic. She made the whole class feel as though trying to help someone in a situation requiring CPR is better than doing nothing at all. She also reminded us that common sense during a first aid situation will help too. She shared stories about her experiences and the other experienced parents jumped in with other ideas and experiences. It was great to be taught by someone who knows foster care. 

CPR and first aid situations are mostly similar for biological children and foster children, however, there are a couple of fairly significant differences. For example: it is my understanding that everything needs to be documented. Everything. How many biological parents keep a journal of every bruise, scrap, and bump their kids have? We have to do that. We also have to keep every medication in the house under double lock. It is interesting (and probably scary), going through my house and seeing that I leave meds everywhere. I have my allergy pills here, Advil there, nose spray over there, heart burn meds on top of that, etc. I suppose in the future it might be nice to have everything in one place as opposed to my current situation which involves mad scrambles all over the house.

One of the things I am looking forward to most is meeting other foster parents. We met some during the weekend and there is something comforting about knowing there are other people who totally get the situation. They were able to answer questions about social workers, agencies, policies, etc. John and I know one couple we used to go to school with. In fact, they are quite like us, which has been more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined. The husband too is in seminary and the wife has full time job/career. They are our age and chose to jump into this first. They have been our biggest support and help. I am not sure they realize how incredible they are. 

Life is crazy and thinking how John and I got this far is wild.  [Husband edit: What a difference a year makes!]  I guess it could only be divine intervention, as my grandma used to say. In case anyone is wondering, we officially began phase II three weeks ago. There are four phases. It is my understanding that phase II is mostly completed by the agency. Phase III will be more of the home study stuff and lots of interviewing. At our initial home visit our social worker said we were still on track to be licensed by June or July. And now we have one more thing checked off the list!

Strangers In Our Home

     Thursday night John informed me he had scheduled our first initial home visit with our social worker for Wednesday night. While I should probably lie, I won't. It made more nervous than I thought it would. Here I am thinking, "Wow, we are really going forward." You see, we have been at a bit of stand still since Spring Break when we turned in our application. We hadn't heard much from the agency and things just seemed to stop for a couple weeks. To most I am sure this is not a big deal, but John and I were so eager and convicted in our decision that it felt like we were put on hold. For perhaps the first time ever in our lives, John wanted to call and email all the time, and I said "let's just wait". [Husband edit: True story!]

     Our social worker called John and set-up a time just to see the house. It is my understanding this will not be a detailed "look in every nook and cranny" type visit, but more of a "let's just see what we have to work with" visit. John came home super excited. When he told me I kind of had a rush of anxiety hit me. Even though I am generally a somewhat private person, I didn't think it would really affect me to have someone come through my home. I thought I had mentally prepared myself enough for this that it wouldn't be something that made me nervous.  But this is a different type of visit. This a a visit in which someone will be judging my home. They aren't coming in to "visit" or be a guest, but to see if my home is sufficient for a children. While I really appreciate the importance of this it is still interesting to think that expectant parents get baby showers and I get inspection checks. It's not discouraging or upsetting; it's just something to think about. My nesting time won't be like everyone else's; which I knew when I signed up. I have always had an idea that my being an "expectant" parent would be very different. I am guessing the anxiety and nervousness is hopefully very similar to a new mother who knows she will have her first child in several months. 

     I imagine this whole process will be an interesting one. Having someone who doesn't know me, ask me every private detail, check my home, interview my loved ones, friends, co-workers, and ask them if I am ready to be a parent will be different. Other individuals who decide to have children make the decision with their significant others. Interviews, references, home checks aren't conducted. While my heart is preparing just like any other soon-to-be-parent, the other "preparations" are completely different. It is really another way we prepare our hearts for the precious souls who will be in our home. 

Exercising Together

My husband is quite amazing. I am sure this won't be the last time I type this. John and I tried to get the most from our Spring Break. 

Monday of Spring break I went to church with him, because truthfully I never get as much work as I think I will done in my pajamas, so I figured the church library would be a great place to go. I got over half of the paperwork I needed to get finished completed which was lovely. Then John and I headed to our first kickboxing class. I have done this before many many many years ago and loved it. We know we need to exercise and try to make it something we enjoy so we tried a kickboxing studio close to our house. The classes are more expensive than I would like, but the schedule is amazing. This is pretty much how my first hour went for me:

5:30 (warm-up)- "Okay I think I can do this. This isn't so bad"

 5:40 (warm-up)- "I wonder if this is still the warm-up. This sure doesn't seem like a warm-up. We must have started the workout."

5:45- Instructor informs us we are done with the warm-up. It was at that point I was sure I wasn't going to make it. "What kind of warm-up was that. My instructor is a crazy person"

5:50- When is this fool going to let me get some water? I think I am dying. I am destined to be out of shape the rest of my life. This is longest work-out I have ever done. 

5:55 - Instructor says get water. I think lying down is a better option, but know if I get down on the floor I am not getting up. 

6:00- I think I hear John say something encouraging, but I am just starting to see fuzzy everywhere. This is crazy. There is no way I am making it the full hour. 

6:10-"That's it, I am dying. I don't have the will to survive."

6:15- Instructor says to get water and then we will do the abs. I think, "Excuse me sir, abs? I thought that was included in what I had already been doing. What kind of Abs and whose abs? Blondie, over there. She looks like she has time and energy for abs. Even if I had abs they couldn't be seen right now. I have bigger fish to fry." The instructor then says if you need to, you can put your feet under the bag for support but try not to when doing your sit-up. Again I think, "Sit-up. I haven't done one in awhile. I will be shocked if I make it all the way up." 

6:20- I do in fact manage some complete sit-ups. I am having a victory party in my mind which is immediately brought to a crashing halt when I informed we still have 10 minutes of abs. 

6:30- I am red in the face, can't breathe, can't walk, burning chest, and just mad. When the super fit, very kind woman from the front desk approaches me, "Ready to join?" It was at that moment I should have said, "No way," but she was so nice and John was so excited, and I am so out of shape I said okay. 

2 weeks into this kickboxing thing I don't loathe it. I am not delusional enough to say that I look forward to it or it is the best thing ever, but there are worse things. 

One rather fit looking lady approached me half way through the last workout and said, "What is he going to make us do now?"  I realize I should have been encouraging, but this woman, upon walking in at the beginning of class, informed another woman she had worked out before and was familiar with this kind of thing. I assumed she would do well while making many of us look bad. But when she approached me looking like she might not survive the next 5 minutes let alone the next 30 minutes (which I looked the same by the way) .....I said, "It is always worse. I always think it can't get worse and then the instructor says something worse." Needless to say she didn't look amused when I told her. 

A good example of this was about a week ago. The instructor had us do a series of things I was less than pleased about, but just when I think I don't want to watch him step on a lego he says, "Okay now Bear Crawls." I loose my .......... I was mad. Why, why oh why are terrible elementary school gym class techniques considered a good idea. For those of us that were not athletic in school (me) this Bear Crawl thing brings horrible flash backs. 

So 5 minutes of bear crawls later and the bell sounds off. No joke, I think "Sweet wonderful Jesus I am done, the rest of the workout will be great, only to hear that what I assume to be the devil yelling, "Okay reverse Bear Crawl!" 

No sir! Not happening! I am going to cover your house in the tiniest and pointiest of legos I can find. I hate you sir. I didn't say any of it because he could smash me without even trying, but I thought it. Fiercely. I watched the very fit man next me struggle through this amazing gym class maneuver and decided I was, in fact, in hell. 

Surprisingly I did not quit my membership after that workout, but let's just say I don't look forward to seeing that madman instructor again. Maybe someday when I can outrun someone chasing me I might think of him fondly, but today is not that day. 

Foster Care Here We Come

This is an insanely long story, but here it goes. John and I decided to officially start the process to become foster parents. 

John and I have always wanted to adopt. [That story is really a whole other story which we will get into later.] Last year about this time John and I decided we would spend the year doing research and making a financial plan for international adoption. We said by summer 2014 we would be filling out applications and hopefully have an agency selected and our plan mapped out. Well, as you can imagine, life happens. The events of that summer had nothing to do with any single part of our carefully laid plans. John started a new job, we survived a challenging house hunt and move, I started a new job, we started with a new church. Life really took a left turn on us. By Summer's end we realized little had been done or researched.  I remember heading to the bookstore before a long bus trip back to DFW in August. I grabbed an array of international adoption books. By the end of October dust had settled on the books and we were looking at each other as if to say "we better figure something out stat." We both felt the urge but had little to no information and ultimately no plan.  We started looking at our fiances to see how we were going to come up with $30,000-$50,000. 

My dad had come for a visit and I decided to break the news to him. I told him we were really getting serious about international adoption.  Dad got quiet then asked, "Why not domestic adoption? Why are you so focused on international adoption?" Sadly my response was something like this..... "uhhhhhhh, well ummmm". Yeah. Not really a great reason. So I did what any good wife would do and said, "Hey husband, why international adoption?" John's reasons (which ultimately were the same as mine) can be summed up into 2 things: 
      1. We thought international adoption would make things less tricky with biological parents. 
      2. International families are super cool. For real.
 It didn't take us long to figure out that the Holy Spirit probably didn't move us in that direction, and if it had, it certainly was not for those reasons. So then we asked ourselves the hard question: Why not domestic adoption, specifically older children (toddlers to school age). We prayed a lot and talked constantly. Both of us were really troubled because it felt like we might actually be called to something we had never even considered in the first place. Something that intimidated and scared us. 

John and I started to research foster to adopt. I was reading a friend's incredible blog and she mentioned the Orphan Care Conference she was going to. It took me about 10 seconds to text her and tell her I wanted to go. She was so encouraging and helpful. I registered John and myself and away we drove, all the way over to Tyler, TX. We went to the conference and experienced one of the most intense emotional weekends I have ever had. It was amazing. The conference speakers didn't say anything about fostering and adoption being easy or sell us some bill of goods. It was honest, loving, Christian brothers and sisters who shared their stories with us. The day was a whirlwind of motion and emotion, and totally unforgettable. John and I cried and laughed on our 2 hour car trip home. We decided to each take time to pray and decide what we wanted to do independently. Neither of us of wanted to be responsible for convincing the other of something, so we took the week. Friday night we had a dinner date. I tend to be pushy so I asked John to tell me first because I wanted to make sure I didn't bulldoze his thoughts or feelings with my ideas. We found we both wanted the same thing: to be foster parents. That was at the beginning of February. 

In the last couple of quick weeks, we prayed, did some homework on agencies and DFPS, met with other foster parents who are friends of ours, prayed a bit more, and here we are.  This week we had orientation with Methodist Children's Home and have officially begun the process. We plan on submitting the application this week, sending home pictures next week, making some various home repairs next week, and so on. We met the amazing social worker who will be our case manager and asked her thousands of questions which she patiently and eagerly answered. 

The road is long and full of lots of training, paperwork, interviews, and appointments. Our case manager's goal (and ours) is to be licensed by June. Quite a tall order, but a challenge we couldn't be more excited about. I really cannot think of a better way start our Lenten season. While part of me is completely flabbergasted at the short time it has taken us to get this far, I can honestly say it must be divine intervention, or inspiration at the very least. I cannot think of a choice John and I have ever made this easily and decisively. Something about it just feels like we are in the right place. Now this doesn't mean we aren't terrified. We are, in fact, incredibly nervous and anxious. This is not what we had originally planned for, but as a wise friend once told me, "If you want to see God laugh, make your own plans." 

We hope you will pray for us and with us, and also pray for children we may have in our home one day. I'm not sure we will ever be ready, but we are willing to provide a loving Christian home and we are certain God will honor our efforts.

Being Social

Saturday night our church had the "kickoff" for supper club. From what I learned, supper club is a time to get to know people within the church that you might not ordinarily get the chance to interact with. Groups are supposed to be shuffled every 6 months or so. There are three kinds of groups. Groups that meet at each others houses, groups that meet at each others houses and add games to the mix, and groups that meet at restaurants. Tonight everyone got together and had dinner before we are broken up into smaller groups.

Everyone just gathered in the "big room" as we call it, mingled, got to know one another, ate, and had a wonderful time. It was exciting to see people gathered together, chatting, laughing, just having fun. 

John is very extroverted [Husband edit: I can't help it that people find me likeable]. He loves people, he loves talking to people, he loves being around big groups of people. Truthfully I don't think I have ever seen the man shy or any kind of situation that he would call uncomfortable. Somehow no matter how big or small the crowd is, my husband just floats in the room. I can't imagine what a social setting would have to look like for him to be uncomfortable[Husband edit 2: Meeting Nathan Fillion]. I suppose it is one of the many gifts God gave him that will undoubtedly be helpful in being a pastor. 

I, on the other hand, would call myself an introvert. I don't like large groups of people and in fact can be quite uncomfortable with large groups, especially when in tighter places. I did great during a train situation on Saturday but that is a story for a different time. I prefer my groups small. I am not a fan of loud places either.  This lovely trait is something I have been quite nervous about. I knew when John said he had the call to be a pastor that it meant I better get used to big crowds. 

Tonight was great. I got to interact with people in a smaller setting than the normal Sunday sized group. It made me feel at home in our church. I am really getting to know people and people are starting to get to know us. This supper club experience is just one of the many reasons I feel super blessed to be a part of our church.